(Mini) Game Review: Warhammer 40,000: Shootas, Blood & Teef

Okay, that’s an awesome name for a game. Warhammer 40,000 is a massive franchise… and I have no idea what it’s about. I do know that it started out as a tabletop game and that is it hugely popular and that it has spilt over into various forms of media. Warhammer 40,000 is gargantuan and a franchise that I have zero knowledge of. So then, Warhammer 40000 Shootas Blood & Teef from developer and publisher Rogueside seems the perfect game for me to review.

“Warhammer 40,000: Shootas, Blood & Teef is a hand-drawn 2D action adventure taking you on a wild ride of dakka, gore and explosions! Krump your way through the hive city of Luteus Prime; battle Humans, Orks and Genestealer cultists; and ultimately retrieve your luscious hair squig from the hands of the Warboss Gutrekka!”

Honestly, I put a review request in from the trailer alone (and the awesome title, of course). It looked utterly insane. I got big Metal Slug vibes from it, side-scrolling, OTT, shoot ’em-up action with a good sense of humour. Plus, the title of the game is amazing. The story of Warhammer 40,000: Shootas, Blood & Teef is… does it matter? You’re not playing a game like this for its plot and intricate story-telling, are you? You want guns, lots of them and loads of enemies to slaughter. So, let’s not be coy here, fuck the story and let’s crack on with how the game plays.

WARHAMMER SCREEN 3

Shootas, Blood & Teef is, from start to finish, non-stop action. A side-scrolling shooter with some platforming thrown in for good measure. Mix in buckets of blood and a good sense of humour and you have a stupid but very fun title. Playing as one of several selectable orks, you set out on a mission to (I think) retrieve a stolen hair squig (something to do with the Warhammer franchise and lore). Honestly, I have no idea what the plot is because I really paid little attention to it. I was too busy laughing as I mowed down hordes of humans (and the occasional ork), while using a variety of weapons.

Shootas, Blood & Teef is stupid and doesn’t take itself seriously at all. A twin-stick shooter with a very 90s feel. Imagine if Doom had been made as a side-scrolling platform-shooter and that is what you get here. Make your way through numerous levels and find in-game cash to buy new weapons at the shop. Arm yourself to the teeth, or teef, kill enemies and big bastard bosses. Simple and basic stuff, immensely satisfying and ridiculously OTT. Throw in a four-player co-op mode and enjoy the carnage with three friends.

WARHAMMER SCREEN 1

Warhammer 40,000: Shootas, Blood & Teef is priced at around £17 and available on PC, Switch and Xbox right now. The PlayStation version is released on the 2nd of December. I don’t think this will get me into the Warhammer 40,000 franchise that I know nothing about. Still, it doesn’t need to. Even more importantly, you the player doesn’t need to know anything about it either. All you need is an urge to play a stupidly OTT game crammed with blood and humour. Look, this is from the same devs that made the Guns, Gore & Cannoli games. ‘Nuff said.