Tag: Wired Productions

Nosebleed Interactive and Wired Productions’ Arcade Paradise is amazing. I gave the game a full review a while back, right here. For those not in the know, Arcade Paradise is a business sim where you turn a laundrette into a very 90s arcade. Within Arcade Paradise are over 30 in-game and very playable mini-games. There are so many games in the game that there are even games within games… within a game. Right here, I’m going to do a bite-sized look at every game found in Arcade Paradise. Going through the whole lot in alphabetical order, from start to finish.

Air Hockey: Everyone knows what this is, a staple of any and every arcade in the 80s. Controlling a paddle-thing, you have to try and score more goals than your opponent by smacking a plastic puck around. It’s air hockey and a decent digital version of it too.

Attack Vector: A kind of shoot ’em up… I guess? You play as a tank enemies appear at the side of the screen, ready to kamikaze crash into your tank. You have to move your turret around and shoot the charging enemies before they take you out. This one is quite tricky because the rotation of the turret is a little awkward and stiff. You’ll need split-second timing and reactions of a cat to rack up a decent score.

Barkanoid: The first game (alphabetically) to feature a member of Arcade Paradise’s mascot family. This is basically an Arkanoid clone… with a dog instead of a bat/paddle. Use Zebby the dog to bounce a ball around to destroy various coloured blocks, some drop power-ups. Destroy all of the blocks and move on to the next level. Simple but very playable stuff.

Blockchain: Or as I call it, ‘gaming crack’. I think that the best way to describe this game is, it is Tetris with a bit of maths thrown in. You have to place numbered blocks to destroy the ever-rising blocks underneath. The numbers that you drop have to match the vertical, horizontal (or both) total amount to destroy that block. As an example, if there is a single block at the bottom, then you’ll need to drop a 2 block on top of it to destroy it. The one block at the bottom and the 2 block you placed = 2 blocks in total. Put a 5 block on a grouping of four and so on. Sounds simple, because it kind of is. But when you have multiple blocks of varying sizes and random numbers to drop, things can get confusing. My favourite game in Arcade Paradise as it is simple and massively addictive.

Blobs From Space: This is a Space Invaders pastiche. Playing as a tank, at the bottom of the screen. Alien blobs keep descending and you have to shoot them before they reach the bottom. There are some boss battles that add a little variety. Other than that, this is Space Invaders. I have a little niggle with this game. The turret of the tank that you control is angled left or right, depending on which way you are moving. However, your projectiles always fire directly up. I keep thinking that the projectile is going to come out at the angle that the turret is facing and it throws off my aim. It’s just a little personal niggle in an otherwise fun little game.

Bomb Dudes: Have you ever played Bomberman, or if you are of a certain age and continent, Dynablaster? Well, that is what this is. Your character is armed with a bomb and you blow up walls and enemies to advance to the next stage. Some walls have power-ups in them to give you extra bombs, longer explosions and such. This is Bomberman, and a pretty good version of it too.

Bugai: This is the game’s version of Puzzle Bobble. Different coloured bubbles… or bugai, in this instance.  Match colour for colour and drop the bugai onto your opponent’s playing field to make things more difficult for them. Win and advance to the next stage. The stages take place at locations all over the world and your opponents are various characters from the plethora of games in Arcade Paradise. An easy and fun to play puzzle game.

Championship Darts: It’s darts. What more do you want from me? Three different AI opponents to play against. You throw ‘arrows’ at a dart board to try and go from 301 to 0 in the fewest darts thrown. The first person to ‘check out’ wins. It’s darts.

Communists From Mars: A shooter that is most definitely influenced by the classic Missile Command. Missile projectiles rain down from above and you shoot them down and hopefully, while pulling off some chain reactions to minimise the shots you take. Really good and frantic fun in the later levels.

Cyber Dance: A rhythm-based dance game, not at all too dissimilar to Dance Dance Revolution. Only you can play without looking like an idiot by flailing your legs around. Instead, just tap the direction on the pad in time with the arrows on the screen and the beat of the music. Not my cup of Yorkshire Tea at all, I just do not like rhythm-based games. But hey, it does feature some pretty good music.

Fruit Crush: This is a Dr. Mario-type game. Only, instead of you having to match coloured pills, you match fruit. Match four of the same fruit and it disappears from the screen. Build up combos to get high scores and boom. A basic puzzle game that is easy to get into but hard to master as risking building high is the key to getting the combos, but also a surefire way to lose.

Graffiti Ballz: This is a little harder to explain. It is another easy to get into puzzle game, but it doesn’t really have a comparable counterpart. Playing as a spray can, you aim and shoot ‘ballz’ of paint and have to match colour for colour. In an ever-increasing and multiplying match ’em up title. Sounds really crap but honestly, I have spent way too much time on this (not as much as Blockchain) as it is really addictive once you get the hang of it.

Gravichase: Is a vector graphics game where you control a spaceship. There is an ever-decreasing circle, or black hole, or something that is made up of rings. Anyway, the ever-decreasing thing has one gap in each ring and you have to move your ship so it goes through the gap of each decreasing ring. All while gravity does its thing and pulls you and the circle thing into it. Fast reactions are key here and the frustration factor is high.

Hustler: It’s pool. What more do you want from me? Yeah, I know I did this with the darts game too. Still, it’s the same thing, just with pool. Three AI opponents to play against and you pot balls. I did find that this was terribly unforgiving and you can line up a shot that looks great, only for the ball to bounce out of the pocket when it really should’ve gone in. It’s an unfair game of pool that punishes you for being anyway half-decent.

Jukebox: It’s a jukebox. Okay, so technically not a game. Just a nice-looking machine that plays music. As there are some great tunes in Arcade Paradise, it’s worth mentioning the jukebox anyway. A good selection of 90s-inspired tunes with clear homages to the likes of The Prodigy and Oasis, etc. You can flick through the selection and pop on a song while you play some games.

Knuckles & Knees: An old-school styled beat ’em up with multiple characters and an upgrade system. A really good beat ’em up too. Mindlessly redundant, but really good. Things get a little meta with this one as you can go into a King Wash (which is the name of the laundrette in Arcade Paradise) within this game and find playable arcade games within the arcade game that you are playing… that is within the main game that you are playing. These mini-mini-games are just fun distractions over ‘proper’ games, but I did say that I was going to cover every game in Arcade Paradise, so… Flyguy: Is a Flappy Bird clone. Toad: An endless and stripped-back version of Frogger where you just keep crossing a road. Brick: A simplified version of Arkanoid. Snake: It’s Snake, that game that was on Nokia mobile phones in the late 90s. Racer: An endless ‘racer’ where you have to dodge traffic.

Line Terror: Oh man, this one is tough. You know games like Qix where you have to fill in the screen while being chased by enemies? Well yep, that is what this is… and it is punishingly hard too. I couldn’t even finish the first stage. If you are feeling a bit masochistic and want to punish yourself, play some Line Terror for a few minutes.

Llama: This one is found on the PDA that you use to manage various aspects of your arcade. Not a ‘real’ game in the sense of the others, more of a fun little distraction. It is a bit like Flappy Bird, in that it’s a continually scrolling thing with you having to avoid obstacles by jumping over them, as a llama. I think that this is a subtle reference to the work of Jeff Minter. If not, it is now.

Meteor Madness: Is a bit like Asteroids, kind of. You control a spaceship and have to blast asteroids away. Only, there is the added objective of picking up and delivering a gem. With vector graphics style and an inertia movement aspect that will really throws off how the ship moves when it has picked up its load. I really liked this one as I was a big fan of Asteroids back in the day.

Minesweeper: One of the games found on the PC in the office in the game. Yup, there are games on the in-game PC. There’s not really much to say about this, it’s Minesweeper. There are mines hidden on a board and you have to clear the board without setting off the mines. This game was a game that everyone had on their PCs in the early 90s, mainly because Microsoft included it as a free game with Windows 3.1.

Racer Chaser: Pac-Man meets Grand Theft Auto in this maze game. Playing as a yellow sports car, you have to avoid the police while trying to clear the screen of money. Pick up this game’s version of a power-pill and turn into a tank, so you can run over the police. Get hit by the police when in the car and you have to run around on foot and try to make it back to your car to continue, while shooting the chasing police with your boombox. This one is great fun and another game that I probably spent way too much time on.

Shuttlecocks: Is Pong. Nothing fancy, no additions, just good old Pong. I love how this one is presented in the game because it does look like the original Pong arcade cabinet. The screen even has interference and static just to add to the very, very, old-school vibes. The all-time arcade classic reborn in a game that celebrates arcade classics.

Slime Pipes: This one is a puzzle game that is very clearly inspired by Pipe Mania. You have to connect the pipes to create an uninterrupted flow for the slime to travel through and reach the exit. Playing against the clock as you only have so much time before the slime is released. You’ll have to work fast to get the pipes connected. Another frustrating but fun, ‘one more go’ type of game.

Solitaire: The other game found on the PC in the office and if you don’t know what this is, are you even a gamer? This, of course, is the classic card game in digital form and one of those games that you’ll often find added to those early 90s versions of Windows. Play well enough and everyone enjoys a cheeky game of Solitaire now and then.

Space Race Simulator: Take a pinch of OutRun, add a few drops of F-Zero and you have this. An arcade racer that definitely has a very 90s vibe. The cornering can be a little tricky at first but when you get used to using the break and sliding, it soon comes together and begins to feel right. There’s an upgrade system to improve your vehicle too. Good fun, though I’d have liked to have seen a couple more race tracks.

Stack Overflow: This is another puzzle game where you have to stack boxes… and it’s brilliant. The boxes are different colours and you can only stack a colour on top of the same colour. You have limited space to stack and a strict time limit to try and stay ahead of. Easy to get into and wonderfully addictive to boot. This is another one that, once I start playing, I find it very hard to stop.

Strike Gold: Another game featuring one of the Arcade Paradise mascot family. Playing as Woodguy Jr., you have to mine as deep as you can. Limited by your oxygen, you dig coloured tiles and pick up extra oxygen along the way. Mine for gold that can be used for upgrades. Try to get as low as you can without having everything fall in on your head. It plays a lot like Namco’s Mr. Driller and that’s a good thing.

Table Football: Surely everyone knows what this is. Foosball! Controlling a line of football players on a rod, you use those players to try and whack the ball into your opponent’s goal. I never liked this in the arcades when I was a kid but no retro arcade would be complete without one.

Thump-A-Gopher: Another arcade staple, this is Whac-A-Mole with gophers. Naughty gophers pop up through holes and you have to hit them by pressing the correct button on your pad for a high score. Don’t hit Woodguy Jr. though as you’ll lose points. A true test of reflexes and strangely hypnotic after a while.

Toad and Turtle: Is another clone of another arcade classic, Frogger. Controlling a toad, you have to make it across a busy road and all while dodging traffic. Jump on logs and turtles in a river, to then take little toad home to safety. Rinse and repeat while you try for that elusive high score. I loved Frogger in the arcade and I love this version of it too.

UFO Assault: This is kind of like a reverse Space Invaders crossed with a reverse Missile Command. A single-screen ‘shooter’ where you play as the attacking aliens. You have to drop bombs onto a city to destroy the buildings. The buildings vary in height and your UFO descends down the screen every time it reaches the edge. So, you have to destroy the buildings before you crash into them. This one is all about timing as you can only drop one bomb at a time and have to try to score a hit with (almost) every one. There is a little room for error, but miss too many buildings and it’ll soon be game over.

Video Air Hockey: I bet you can’t guess what this is? A digital version of air hockey… that is already in a digital video game. That’s twice the digital! It plays just like normal air hockey, but digital.

Vostock 2093: Plays very much like a classic shoot ’em up. Think along the lines of Galaga and Galaxian, only with a bit of a twist. See, this is a kind of sequel/follow-up to Nosebleed Interactive’s Vostock Inc. game. Shoot enemies, earn coin and spend that coin on upgrades so you can shoot more enemies and bosses. Good fun.

Woodgal Jr.: Here is where we really get into the whole Arcade Paradise mascot family. The game is simple but a hugely addictive test of reflexes and reactions. Playing as Woodgal, you have to chop away at a never-ending tree. Random branches get in the way on the left or right and you just have to dodge them as you chop by moving Woodgal left or right.  Hit a branch and it’s game over.

Woodgal’s Adventure: Woodgal is back, in her very own adventure. A simple match-3 type game mixed with a little RPG. Solve the match-3 boards and earn items that you can use to explore the map further. More enemies, more match-3 boards to complete until you reach the end. Oh, and Woodgal is joined by her dog Zebby from Barkanoid.

Woodguy Golf: It’s Woodguy, the father, husband, brother (I honestly don’t know) of Woodgal. Anyway, he was also in the Strike Gold game further up this list. This is basically Golf from the NES and plays the same way too. A basic and simple to play golf game with some challenging holes to test your skills.

Woodguy Jr.: This is just Woodgal Jr. but featuring the Woodguy character instead. The exact same game and plays the exact same way too. However, Woodguy Jr. actually came first, as it was a mini-game in Nosebleed’s Vostock Inc. before appearing in Arcade Paradise. There’s a wonderful shared universe thing going on here.

Zombat 2: The last game on the list is also one of my favourites. A twin-stick shooter with you pitted against wave after wave of zombies. Kill the undead (if that makes sense) and they drop coins, which you can use to buy new weapons in the shop. Eventually building to a small arsenal of guns and explosives for you to kill even more zombies with. Bloody pixel violence that’s great fun to play.

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There you go. All of the playable games found in Arcade Paradise. A great game that every arcade fan should play, so go and buy a copy right now. It’s available on everything.

I turned 46 years old in July and I’m now officially middle-aged. Still, being 46 means that I grew up in the golden era of arcade gaming. Family holidays around the English coast and I was never too far away from an arcade. But, even when not on holiday, I still had relatively easy access to arcades as we had one in the city centre of Birmingham, England and another one near a park called Lickey Hills. Anyway, the point is that I grew up in arcades of the 80s and 90s. Plus, I have a bit of a soft spot for business sim games. You know the kind where you’re given some property/land and a bit of cash, to then have to grow and expand your business.

From developer Nosebleed Interactive and publisher Wired Productions comes Arcade Paradise. A game that melds together classic arcade gaming with the business sim genre that I love so much. But is it any good? Let’s find out. Oh and before I get into this, do you know how long I have been looking forward to this game? Well, let me just say that I actually wrote a first draft of this introduction over a year ago…

Roughly around about the 3rd of May 2021 at 12:36 PM, in fact… according to my drafts.

“Welcome to Arcade Paradise, the 90’s-fuelled retro arcade adventure. Rather than washing rags for a living, you decide to turn the family laundromat into the ultimate arcade. Play, profit, and purchase new arcade machines, with over 35 to choose from, to build your very own Arcade Paradise!”

So, the story of Arcade Paradise is that you play Ashley and have to manage your father’s small laundrette. Bored of the drudgery of running an establishment where people congregate to wash their undercrackers, you eventually find a backroom with a few arcade machines in it. Realising that the arcade machines are making more money than the laundrette, you come up with a plan to build and expand that small backroom into a full-blown arcade. Only your father, Gerald, who is sunning himself in the Riviera… Gerald of Riviera? Sounds oddly familiar in more ways than one. Anyway, dad is not on board with the idea of adding more arcade machines and just wants you to run the laundrette. Still, he’s miles away, what he doesn’t know and all that.

So then, after over a year of my looking forward to Arcade Paradise and pestering both the dev and publisher for a review code over the last 14 months, was it worth it? No, no it wasn’t and Arcade Paradise is a massive disappointment…

… Bollocks is it! Arcade Paradise is amazing. An indie game that is crammed with so many things to do and gameplay that puts a lot of AAA games to shame. But before I get into all of that, I do have to get the rather boring opening couple of hours of the game out of the way. Seriously, my first impressions of Arcade Paradise were not great at all and I do think that if you play this and judge it on those first few hours, you will be disappointed too. I’m just putting this in as a warning and offering my advice to stick with it because, after the boring start, this game really does begin to kick some serious bum-cheeks.

The game begins with a very 90s, very MTV-inspired opening of you reluctantly making your way to the laundrette for your first day as manager. From there, you are thrown into the basics of how to run and maintain the laundrette. It is all kept simple and basic too. Press a button to pick up some dirty laundry and put it in one of the washing machines. After a few minutes, the washing is clean, pick it up and put it in a dryer. A couple of minutes later and it is finished, take it out of the dryer and set it aside for the customer to pick up. The faster you get the washing done, the more money you’ll make. As you wait for the washing and drying to finish, you can pick up rubbish. Sorry, trash, this is set in the US. You pick up trash and throw it in the dumpster at the side of the laundrette. This starts a little timing mini-game and the higher the bar when you press the button, the more money you’ll make for taking out the trash.

The toilet can become blocked and yes, you have to unblock it. Again, another mini-game and you can earn some cash. As you walk around the laundrette, you might find chewing gum stuck to various surfaces… yup you guessed it, mini-game, earn money. That is pretty much what you will be doing for most of the opening few hours or so of Arcade Paradise. Wash clothes, clean up trash, unblock the toilet and pick up chewing gum. The grind is very real and very annoying. All of these jobs are punctuated with a very typical and very 90s bit of vernacular… radical! To be honest, it’s not massively inspired gameplay and it soon becomes very tedious. You do find the key to the backroom and office of the laundrette very early on and the beginning of managing the arcade begins.

At first, you don’t make a huge amount of money and have to keep running the laundrette, doing the same jobs over and over and being stuck in the drudgery-purgatory of washing people’s clothes and keeping the place clean, just to bring in some coin. This is the bit of the game I mentioned earlier of it being a bit boring. Even though you have a handful of arcade machines out back, you really can’t spend much time with them because you need to keep the laundrette ticking over to bring in a constant and meagre flow of cash.

Then there is the safe in the office, one of the most annoying things in the game. See, to spend any of the money you have earned, it has to be placed in the safe first. Every time you do use the safe, you have to input the combination manually via a dial. You know, the old left 32, right 56, etc. It is fucking tedious, drawn out and gets annoying very, very quickly.

Honestly, the opening handful of hours of Arcade Paradise really pissed me off because you just can’t enjoy the arcade games, because you have to run the laundrette to make money to extend the arcade. The annoyances of using the safe, the watch alarm going off to remind me of jobs that need doing and more, it all really begin the grate and everything became very monotonous… until I unlocked the upgrade system. Arcade Paradise then began to really open up as a game and those annoyances disappeared pretty quickly, making way for some very engrossing gameplay.

You can hire an assistant manager to help with the emptying of the machine’s hoppers. Have less trash to clean up, move faster, extend the length of the working day and so much more. You can even upgrade to a new safe that you don’t have to keep manually opening it (though I suggest saving up for an assistant manager first… trust me). The upgrades mean that you can then spend a lot more time managing the arcade side of the business and this is when the game really comes alive. In fact, after a while, you can completely forget all about the laundrette and focus solely on the arcade.

I think that that was the point of the slow and monotonous opening though. It puts you in the frame of mind that what you are doing is fucking boring. It was designed to annoy, to piss you off. Then, when you get the arcade up and running, get some more machines in place and when you can afford to forget about the laundrette and enjoy all of those arcade games, that feeling of annoyance and being pissed off becomes a distant memory as the joy of having your own arcade takes over.

There are loads of arcade games in Arcade Paradise too, all original titles that are inspired by real-world games. For instance, one of the first cabinets you will have is called Racer Chaser and it is basically Pac-Man crossed with GTA (which I love because the original GTA was inspired by Pac-Man). Instead of controlling a hungry yellow dot, you control a yellow sports car. No being chased by ghosts here, it is coloured police cars instead. When you grab this game’s equivalent of a power pill, you turn into a tank and can run over the police cars. If you get stopped by the police, you will end up on foot and have to try to make it back to your car before being arrested. As I said, it is Pac-Man mushed with GTA. Pretty much all of the arcade games in Arcade Paradise can be likened to a real-world game or games. F-Zero meets OutRun = Space Race Simulator is another example.

Some of these games are massively addictive too. Blockchain is a Tetris-type game mixed with maths. At first, this one really confused me with how it works, mainly because I was overthinking it. But it is actually devilishly simple to understand and once it clicked, I couldn’t stop playing it. Blockchain is one of those games that you put on for 5 minutes and end up playing for an hour or so.

There’s even a connecting universe going on. Vostok Inc. was Nosebleed Interactive’s previous title, it was a twin-stick shooter about making money. There’s a sequel to that game in Arcade Paradise. Also, in Vostok Inc. was a mini-game called Woodguy Jr. and that game has a sequel here called Woodgal Jr. Then, the Woodguy character is the star of a new game called Strike Gold! There are several more connections to find as you play. The world in which Arcade Paradise takes place really is wonderfully realised and I got a serious Pac-Man/Ms. Pac-Man and Donkey Kong/Donkey Kong Jr. vibes with the connecting games. All these connections make the arcade games seem as if they could’ve existed in our world.

Managing the arcade is a tad more in-depth than running the laundrette. Each of the machines has a popularity rating. The more popular, the more money it will bring in. You can affect that popularity in various ways too. Change the game’s difficulty, how much a game costs to play and where you place the machine has an effect. Put a lower popular game next to a higher popular to give a little boost. Even you playing the games can make them more popular. The more popular the game is, the more money it will make.

Oh yeah, you can play all of the games here. Now, don’t go expecting pixel-perfect recreations of some of the real world’s biggest arcade hits. What Arcade Paradise offers you are more like a collection of mini-games, but really bloody good ones. Pretty much every genre is catered for. Racers, beat ’em ups, puzzle games, shoot ’em ups and more. Some of these games are ridiculously addictive. There’s a puzzle game called Stack Overflow where you just have to move and stack coloured boxes, that I can’t stop playing. All the arcade games here are simple and basic, but still very playable and there are over 35 of them to enjoy.

You know what? Calling the arcade games here ‘mini-games’ is a bit of a misdemeanour. Yeah, some of them most definitely are mini-games, the likes of a digital air hockey game really is the definition of a mini-game. But then you have titles like Woodgal’s Adventure. This is one of those match-three-styled puzzle games… only set in an RPG world. A world that you can explore, talk to characters, find/collect items and so on. To play through Woodgal’s Adventure from start to end, you are probably looking at the best part of around 4 hours. That’s pretty far from being a mini-game, I have played some indie games recently with a shorter game length. And this is just one title of 30-odd in Arcade Paradise.

Then there is the massively addictive Zombat 2. This one is a top-down, twin-stick shooter that has an upgrade system where you can buy new weapons with in-game currency, with a bit of a Rogue-lite emphasis. Honestly, it’ll take you a good while to obtain all of the available weapons equating to several hours of gameplay. Again, these are games within a game. With these longer games, your progress is saved, so you don’t have to try to finish the whole thing in one sitting. Not that the laundrette side of the business would let you anyway as you will pass out if you stay at work for too long.

Yes, the working day is timed, and so is how much you can get done. Start work at 9AM and the launderette closes at 11PM (in-game hours, not real hours). Though you can stay on after closing for a few more in-game hours to play some arcade games. But don’t stay too long as you will pass out and lose time the next working day. The games here have online leaderboards, so you can see how you fare against other players around the world. Several of them also offer local multiplayer. Team up with friends and kill some zombies or go head to head with some classic Pong action and more.

You can buy a jukebox and it is crammed with original and very 90s-styled music covering a variety of genres. I was listening to one tune and I swear that it sounded like an unreleased Prodigy song, to the point where I had to check the credits of the game just in case it was a Prodigy song that I had somehow missed. The PC in the office can be used in various ways, mainly as a shop for buying new arcade cabinets and expanding your arcade. It is also used to further the story via a chatroom and emails. The PC also has a version of eBay where you can buy the upgrades. However, it uses a different currency that you can only earn by completing your ‘to-do list’. With each new day at work, you will be given three random jobs to finish. These can be something like play a certain game for so many minutes, get a high score, wash some clothes and more. Each of the arcade machines even has its own set goals that can be finished to help them become more popular.

The managing of the arcade is controlled by a very 90s PDA and even that has a game on it. There are games everywhere in Arcade Paradise even hidden within other games. There’s a beat ’em up called Knuckles and Knees which has an arcade in it with its own games. So then, you are playing Arcade Paradise, which is a game about playing arcade games. One of those arcade games in the game you are playing has an arcade in it where you can play games within a game that is in a game about playing arcade games. There’s even an achievement/trophy called ‘Arcadeception’ if you get the high score on the arcade games in Knuckles and Knees. Fuck the metaverse, this is bigger. It’s pretty clear that the devs had a lot of fun putting this together.

Everything is tied via a story that follows Ashley (you) and the strained relationship with your untrusting and overbearing father. I tell you something, the story is really damn good too, twists and turns with things not going the way you quite expect them to.

Arcade Paradise is going to cost you around £17, depending on your chosen format and it is available on everything. I don’t do review scores as I have never found one that I fully agree with. What I do when I review is, I take the game, the price and everything and question if the game is worth what it is being sold for. In this case, fuck yeah! You get an absolute ton of gameplay here. There are AAA games with asking prices of £60 that don’t offer the amount of gameplay that Arcade Paradise throws at you. That opening few hours or so is horrible, grindy, tedious, slow and really did piss me off after looking forward to this game for over a year. But once you get past that, Arcade Paradise doesn’t so much shift up a gear, it goes into ludicrous speed and becomes one of the most generous and rewarding titles that you will play this year.

I have a thing I do when I’m given a game to review for free that I really enjoy, I buy a copy to support those who made it. However, I didn’t buy a copy of Arcade Paradise, I bought three copies, that’s how much I adore this game.

That’s not to say that Arcade Paradise is a perfect game. I personally found the management side of things a bit too simplistic. I’m not sure if it is even possible to fail, you’re always going to make money from the arcade and the money will continue to roll in with no threat or danger of loss, there are just some slight variables on how much money you will make. The main gameplay loop really consists of nothing more than buying arcade machines and making the arcade bigger to fit in more arcade machines. That’s about it. Of course, the 30-odd games that you can play here offer a lot more variety though.

There are a few bugs, but after a little exchange of Tweets with the dev, I know that they are being worked on. Plus, I tend not to bitch about bugs in indie games, as they use much smaller teams than AAA titles and actually do fix them in speedy time… unlike AAA titles. Arcade Paradise was delayed for a very good reason, which I’m not going to get into here, but that most definitely had a major impact on the development cycle and really puts the bugs thing into perspective for me. That’s why I’m not making big deal out of this. Yes, there are a few bugs but they are forgivable and will be fixed.

I do really like Arcade Paradise and it does cram in a lot of game for your money. This is a big recommendation from me, especially if you have an interest in arcade gaming history, even a fictional one. It could’ve done with more depth and variables to the managing aspect though, but that is just personal preference and not a criticism. What you really have here is a collection of mini (and not so mini)-games that are presented in a rather unique and interesting way. Each of the games looks and feels period specific for the era they would’ve been released. As an example, there is a version of Pong and the cabinet is very similar to the original, while the screen you play on is full of static. It is these little details that I adore. There are loads of jokes, nods and references for old-school arcade fans to enjoy.

Arcade Paradise is a great game, but one that is flawed if you are looking for a business sim, as the focus is definitely more on the games than the managing aspect. Once I got the idea of this being a business sim (in the vein of the genre that I love) out of my mind, Arcade Paradise became far more fun to play. It is the arcade machines that are the stars here, the running of the business takes a back seat. This is not the arcade management sim that I really wanted it to be and yes, that did disappoint me… for a while. But what really made me fall in love with Arcade Paradise was its attention to detail, the wave of 90s arcade nostalgia that slaps you in the face harder than John Cleese’s trout walloped Michael Palin.

Arcade Paradise took me back to my childhood and those family holidays, walking around the seafront and wandering into the nearest arcade. It made me feel like I was a teenager again, when I would skip school and catch the bus (it used to cost 32p) into town to play in the city centre arcades. I genuinely miss the arcades of the 80s and 90s. These modern-day retro arcades just don’t have the same appeal. Short of creating a time machine, Arcade Paradise is the next best thing to a proper arcade experience and it even has the annoying chewing gum stuck to surfaces.

Thank you Nosebleed Interactive for crafting this game and thanks to Wired Productions for all the support you gave to the devs in bringing this game to us gamers. This was well worth the 14-month wait and £17 price tag. Go and buy a copy now, Arcade Paradise is available on everything.

Konami Code…