Series Six

Well, this is it, the final stretch of Inside No. 9 and the last two series (so far). Originally airing between the 10th of May and the 14th of June 2021. I really have no idea what Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith have in store next. I did get a bit cocky before the previous series and thought I knew what to expect, but I was (happily) proven wrong. Time for me to get lost in some tales and really have no idea where this show is going to take me.

Wuthering Heist

Columbina (Gemma Whelan) is working with a rag-tag group to carry out a good old-fashioned heist. Teaming up with Arlo (Kevin Bishop), Pantalone (Paterson Joseph), Mario (Dino Kelly), Hortensia (Rosa Robson), The Doctor (Steve Pemberton) and Scaramouche (Reece Shearsmith). Meeting in a warehouse so that they can go over their plan to steal some diamonds. The heist then takes place (off-screen) and we get to see the aftermath, in a kind of a Reservoir Dogs homage (see the poster).

Okay, I may have just compared this one to Reservoir Dogs, but it is also absolutely nothing like it. Yeah, it features a warehouse, a heist gone wrong and so on and that is all very Reservoir Dogs. However, the style and tone here are something very different. I had no idea exactly what Pemberton and Shearsmith were doing with this one. I knew they were celebrating a style, I just had no idea what it was. I had to do a little research and this episode is done in the style of Commedia dell’arte, an older Italian comedy where the actors all wear masks that denote the characteristics of the role they are playing, usually stock and social stereotypes. Yup, this one is an out-and-out comedy. A style of comedy that I was not aware of before and I admit, was completely lost on me. I really didn’t like this one on my first viewing, but it grew on me with subsequent views. Characters break the fourth wall and talk to the audience, they are fully aware that they are in an episode of Inside No. 9, they make really bad jokes, puns and more. There are some genuinely funny references and jabs at critics and even us the viewer. The structure and style of this one really did grow on me with multiple viewings. It’s a good slice of utter silliness, crafted perfectly.

Simon Says

Spencer (Steve Pemberton) is the writer of a massively popular fantasy TV show called The Ninth Circle. The finale to the show was somewhat ‘underwhelming’, according to the fans. One such fan, Simon (Reece Shearsmith) feels that the show could and should come back to put right what the finale did wrong. Simon turns up at Spencer’s place after witnessing him push an overbearing fan over, which Simon caught on video. That fan died after hitting the floor and Simon uses that to blackmail Spencer into letting him co-write a new finale and one, that he is sure, that the fans will enjoy.

It is quite clear that this is an episode that uses the whole finale and fan backlash of Game of Thrones as its diving board. An episode that explores the whole idea of writing a TV show and one that is squarely aimed at toxic/annoying fan culture. As well as (I’m sure) more than a few subtle digs at ‘certain’ fans of Inside No. 9 itself, who think that they can tell Pemberton and Shearsmith how to do their job. I just need to go over this whole retrospective before I publish it and make sure I don’t appear in a future episode. Simon Says is (yet again) another brilliantly observed and written episode. It is also one that I really didn’t want to try and second guess, I was enjoying all the sly digs at fan culture too much. I just sat back and let this one wash over me and lead me to an ending that put a big ‘ole smile on my face. ‘Nuff said.

Lip Service

Felix (Steve Pemberton) checks into a low-budget hotel room, where he is often pestered by the nosey hotel manager, Eric (Reece Shearsmith). With Eric seemingly out of the way, Iris (Sian Clifford) arrives at the room. Iris is a professional lip reader that Felix has hired to spy on his ex-wife, who is meeting a mystery man over the road from the hotel. Felix wants his wife back and needs to know who this mystery man is and if they are seeing each other or not. What follows is a story that has more twists in it than Chubby Checker had in 1961.

This is one of those episodes that you really need to watch more than once. It is packed with clever lines, double meanings and hidden clues. There’s a brilliant scene where Felix is talking to his wife on the phone while Iris lipreads, so we can hear both sides of the conversation and still stick with Inside No. 9’s rule of staying in one location. It also leads into some classic gags. Yup, this episode has some good comedy in it but don’t let that fool you, this a dark tale and one that packs a hell of an ending. It also seems to merge about four or five different story genres into just under 30 minutes. What could be seen as a mess of storytelling is handled very well indeed.

Hurry Up and Wait

A new crime drama covering the real-life (within the Inside No. 9 universe, not ours) disappearance and supposed murder of baby Ryan is being filmed on location of where Ryan went missing 20 years ago. James (Reece Shearsmith) is a bit player with a small role in the said crime drama. He is taken to the green room while he waits for his one and only scene to be filmed. The green room just so happens to be a lived-in caravan that is still being used by the family who owns it, while doubling up as a green room for the show’s production team. James sits on the couch and practises his lines, when he is interrupted by the daughter of the family, Bev (Donna Preston). Bev is celebrating a birthday and she is very ‘socially awkward’. After a while, James pieces together numerous clues that led him to the conclusion that Bev is actually baby Ryan and that the mother and father of the family kidnapped Ryan and raised him as their daughter. However, James is having trouble getting people to listen to him and what he has discovered.

You know, if someone were to ask me what sums up Inside No. 9 as a show, I would tell them to watch this episode. It blends reality and fiction by having Adrian Dunbar (famous for playing Ted Hastings from the criticality acclaimed Line of Duty) playing himself. The in-episode ‘factual’ crime drama about baby Ryan is written by Jeff Pope, who is a real TV screenwriter too. This one has comedy in it and satirises acting and TV show productions, Adrian Dunbar slowly stealing James’ lines is hilarious. Then, it also has a really fucking bleak and disturbing ending. This is exactly what Inside No. 9 is all about, leading you down the garden path and slamming the gate on you. Steve Pemberton plays Stan, the father of the family and he really gives off some disturbing Fred West vibes too. There is definitely something wrong with this family and they are hiding a secret. As James goes from a small bit player as a police officer in a crime drama, to full-on detective and works out the clues, you are really on his side and want him to bring this disturbing family down.

How Do You Plead?

Mr Webster (Derek Jacobi) is a massively successful but ageing, ill and dying ex-barrister. He is bedridden, hooked up to all sorts of medical equipment and his diet mainly consists of pills and more pills. Urban (Reece Shearsmith) is his nurse and tends to the soon-to-expire Webster as and when he is summoned. The two partake in a little roleplaying of a court case before the reason behind Webster’s staggering success as a barrister is revealed.

I believe that this episode makes Derek Jacobi the only actor to be in more than one episode of Inside No. 9 (discounting Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith, of course). Jacobi voiced the director in The Devil of Christmas episode from series three, though you only heard his voice and never saw him. Anyway, this episode is a cracker and I had no idea where it was going until it was too late. Paring the hardnosed and cutthroat character of Webster against the much more angelic-like Urban makes for a good chalk-and-cheese dynamic. Just who is playing who here though?

Last Night of the Proms

A family gather to watch Last Night of the Proms on the TV. There’s Mick (Steve Pemberton) and his wife Dawn (Sarah Parish). Brian (Reece Shearsmith), his wife Penny (Debra Gillett) and their utterly bored teenage son Oliver (Jack Wolfe). Oh, and let’s not forget Ralph (Julian Glover) as the dementia-suffering  and Tourette’s swearing father of Dawn and Penny. In the midst of all the rousing classical music merriment comes Yusuf (Bamshad Abedi-Amin), a strange man who has seemingly wandered in from a local immigration detention centre, or has he?

I don’t think there has been an outright bad episode of Inside No. 9 so far, but there have been some weaker ones. This is one of those. As far as I can tell, the Last Night of the Proms episode has a bit of a political/Brexit agenda and some not-very-subtle symbolism. I am avoiding spoilers for this retrospective but when a bloody dead body gets wrapped up in the Union Flag, all while Jerusalem plays, I just felt that perhaps Pemberton and Shearsmith were being a tad too conspicuous, maybe that was the point? Aside from some really great performances, with Sarah Parish being a major highlight. This was a bit of a weak end to the series that began in such a crazy but funny fashion and with some very enjoyable episodes along the way. But I tell you something, I’ll never listen to The Sailor’s Hornpipe the same way again.

Series Seven

I’ve made it, I’m now at the end of this retrospective and the last series of Inside No. 9, for the time being anyway. Aired between the 20th of April and the 1st of June 2022. I am hoping for a complete mind-fuck and so much rug pulling that I’ll need corrective surgery on my arse cheeks. I want to see some bleak storytelling, humorous dialogue and yeah, some endings that make me worried about the frame of mind that Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith are in. Let’s get cracking.

Merrily, Merrily

Three old university friends meet up for a reunion. Organised by Laurence (Reece Shearsmith), he invites Darren (Steve Pemberton) and Callum (Mark Gatiss) to a ‘party on a boat’. The boat turns out to be a pedalo, which the friends take out and across a lake. However and due to a misunderstanding with the invite, Darren turns up with his uninvited girlfriend Donna (Diane Morgan). That is when Laurence’s plans are thrown into disarray and it is revealed that the party never even existed and just what Laurence planned was is revealed.

Taking Inside No. 9’s rule of setting the story in one location, this episode is about as claustrophobic as you can get, all while still being out in the open. The four characters are stuck on the pedalo on the lake as tales from the past and present are told. With some great writing and the suggestion that Laurence’s party isn’t quite what it seems. We learn more about what these friends have been up to and how their lives have changed. Pemberton’s Darren character is brilliantly realised and his misunderstanding of the invite (and what a pedalo is) becomes all too clear with a great reveal. I have to admit that this episode led me down the garden path. I had a feeling that it was heading in one direction, only for it to deliver a resolve that is unexpected and bitter-sweet. A great opener for the series.

Mr King

Mr Curtis (Reece Shearsmith) is the new teacher at a small rural school in Wales, overseen by the headmaster Mr Edwards (Steve Pemberton). Taking over from the previous teacher, Mr King. Mr Curtis loves teaching and tries all sorts of new teaching methods to get his pupils interested. However, Mr Curtis seems to be a bit too strict and his teaching style is vastly different to Mr King. One of Mr Curtis’ pupils makes an accusation against him and he has to try to clear his name. All while also trying to track down his predecessor, Mr King, to help him get a grasp of the kind of lessons that he was teaching the class.

This was one of those episodes that failed to fool me. If you have ever seen a certain British folk-horror film, then you will see the ending of this coming about 2 minutes into this episode. Still, that does not mean that there wasn’t a lot to enjoy here. This is another episode that is peppered with great humour, sharp dialogue and loads of clues. Mr King is one that really does warrant multiple viewings. Then there is the misdirection and you will go from rooting for Mr Curtis to really detesting him and more. Reece Shearsmith’s character is brilliantly realised and portrayed. Yeah, I may have correctly guessed the ending within a few minutes of the episode starting, but the journey to that ending was so damn enjoyable.

Nine Lives Kat

Katrina (Sophie Okonedo) is a tough detective working on a case involving a missing boy. She is also a bit of a cliché. A divorced single mother, alcohol problem and she struggles with a work/life balance. As the case begins to take over, Katrina struggles to keep a grip on her life, while she pours vodka on her cereal. This is when Ezra (Steve Pemberton) enters the story and he begins to clear things up… or make them so much worse.

I love writing, I love writing about writing and that is what this episode is all about. A very meta tale that explores character and storytelling in a very clever way. There’s some really bad and cheesy dialogue here, awful clichés everywhere, including a shitty jump scare with a cat. Just looking at this on the surface, this is the ‘worst’ written episode of Inside No. 9 yet… but it is supposed to be. It’s not like Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith completely dropped the ball here with the writing, quite the opposite in fact. The writing here is bad for a very good reason. The clichés are there to clue you into what is going on. This one is enjoyably bad and exceptionally wonderful at the same time.

Kid/Nap

Shane (Daniel Mays) and Clifford (Jason Isaacs) kidnap Lara (Daisy Haggard), the wife of wealthy hedge fund manager Dominic (Reece Shearsmith). The duo plan on holding Lara for a £1.3 million ransom and if her husband refuses to pay, well, it could get very bloody. It soon becomes clear that Clifford is the brains of the plan, while Shane is not. Oh, and Lara is actually in on the plan as she is having an affair with Clifford. Don’t worry, that’s not a spoiler, this plot point is revealed before you get to the halfway point. When Dominic calls the police, headed up by DI Ellis (Steve Pemberton), that is when the careful plan begins to go awry.

This episode can be viewed in one of two ways. You can watch this as a really bad kidnap thriller, or you can see it as a fantastic parody and clever observation of a really bad kidnap thriller. I’m pretty sure that the latter is the aim. An episode that plays up the comedy factor and one that becomes a comedy of errors, crammed with stock characters and stilted dialogue. The ‘twist’ that Lara is in on the plan is not even the twist of the episode either as this has more than just the one surprise. This is another one of the very few episodes that breaks the ‘everything in one location’ rule too, but still keeps everything together. It uses split-screen to show the other characters and locations but all while still keeping things anchored. Basically, if Brian De Palma ever directed an episode of Inside No. 9, it would look like this. Kid/Nap is an episode that you are either going to ‘get’ and be on board with its gritty-silliness, or it’ll go completely over your head and you’ll misunderstand the point.

A Random Act of Kindness

Helen (Jessica Hynes) is a single mother living with her teenage son Zach (Noah Valentine). Their relationship is not at its best as they bicker and argue constantly. When a sparrow flies into Zach’s bedroom window, a strange man called Bob (Steve Pemberton) picks it up and asks for help from Helen to nurse it back to health. Bob and Zach strike up a relationship and the teenager gets some much-needed tuition from the stranger in terms of his education. But, is Bob going to drive a wedge between Zach and his mother or bring them closer together?

There really is a lot to cover with this episode, and the fact that I am actively avoiding spoilers makes this very hard to sum up. What starts out as a simple family drama evolves into something far more complex and intricate. The relationship between Bob and Zach is wonderfully explored and you get a nice physics lesson thrown in too. The plot here becomes multi-layered and much more complex, especially as it reaches its climax. This is an episode that really does display how great Pemberton and Shearsmith can be when armed with a word processor and an idea. Some razor-sharp writing and a story that is as deep as the Mariana Trench. What you get here is 28 minutes of TV that offers a story worthy of a feature film. The ending will leave you scratching your head trying to work out just who got a happy ending, or if anyone did. Still, as complex as the story gets, there’s a simple mother/son dynamic that is the driving force behind it all.

Wise Owl

Ronnie (Reece Shearsmith) is a man-child with an obviously troubled past. He grew up with the Wise Owl public information films that taught him not to talk to strangers, play with matches and the like. These films have left deep and lasting psychological scars that have carried over from boy to man, Ronnie is borderline suicidal. A phone call from his mother sparks off memories that drive Ronnie to kill off his inner demons before they kill him.

After the damp squib of an episode that was the end of series six, this is how you end a series. Fuck me, this was this dark and amazing at the same time. If you are from England and of a certain age (like me) then the public information films of the 70s and 80s are forever ingrained into your subconscious. Things like Donald Pleasence playing Death and trying to kill children at a pond, or watching a kid get electrocuted at a power station when trying to retrieve a football. These memories are decades old and yet, still as strong as they ever were. Then there is the king of all public information films, Charley Says. It is those Charley Says cartoons that serve as the basis for this episode. The story of Ronnie is intercut with Wise Owl animations that are clearly massively inspired by the Charley Says cartoons. This is an episode that left a deep impression on me, like the Wise Owl did on Ronnie. Twit-you!

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Overall

Series six and seven have been great. I have sat here watching these episodes and expecting a drop in quality, but it never happened. Yeah sure, some episodes were better than others but I never found one I outright disliked. For me, this is a testament to Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith’s scribing. Even if an episode didn’t exactly work for me (Last Night of the Proms), I can still appreciate the work that went into it. From meta and fourth-wall-breaking tales to mind-melting and straight-up WTF ones. Inside No. 9 had still managed to surprise me, seven series in. I’m not bored yet, I want more.

Overall-Overall

For me, Inside No. 9 is an astonishing piece of TV. I’ve recently read that it has been renewed for two more series, which will take the total to 9… perfect. It’ll also leave me with two more series to cover and keep my format of this retrospective too, thanks fellas. I think that is where they should stop too. I don’t like it when a TV show outstays its welcome and I do think that Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith should quit while they are ahead, go out on a high and avoid scraping the bottom of the barrel. Still, the end of the show doesn’t necessarily mean the end of Inside No. 9, an anthology film could be amazing if the duo come up with any new ideas for stories after series nine. Just think of an Amicus-stylised portmanteau film version of Inside No. 9. Pemberton and Shearsmith could have a lot of fun with that.

Still, now I have sat through all seven series and forty-three episodes (multiple times) and I now realise how angry this show has made me. See, I like to write, I’ve penned a few short stories and even a novel. Putting together a compelling short story is far more difficult than a longer tale. You have far less time to build a story, evolve characters and so on. So, to create so many great short tales here with Inside No. 9 and make it look easy, really infuriates me. I adore this show, I think it is amazing. But it has also taught me that I have a long way to go as a writer myself.

Halloween Picks

Okay, so to finish this Halloween special of my look at the entirety of Inside No. 9, I’m going to pick some of the more horror-based/creepy episodes that I feel are worth a watch over Halloween. Not necessarily blood-soaked gore-fests, but episodes that I think are scary or disturbing (and more) and that would work great as a nice little Inside No. 9 Halloween-fest. There is no real reasoning to this list (other than chronologically via series), no best to worst, etc. Just my suggestion of episodes to watch if you want something with more of a horror vibe in the run-up to Halloween.

Let’s get things started with the Tom & Gerri episode. A great yarn and one that explores mental health with a dark twist. The Harrowing next, for the fact that this looks and feels like a classic gothic horror film. There’s a nice bit of black comedy in this one and it has some genuine scares too. I think it would be rather remiss of me if I didn’t put The 12 Days of Christine on this list of Halloween tales. A big fan-favourite and one that really is a showcase for Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith’s writing. Séance Time is well worth a watch if you want something with a wonderfully creepy atmosphere and a few laughs.

Quite simply, one of the most creative and clever episodes next with The Devil of Christmas. I have a particular adulation for this one because I grew up with and love the kind of TV shows that it is paying homage to. Plus, it’s just a really well told creepy tale. I have spoken about the quality of the writing several times already but with my next pick, I have to praise it more. The Riddle of the Sphinx is fucking genius. Not only do you get a great story, you also get an amazingly designed puzzle of an episode that you really do need to watch more than once. Diddle Diddle Dumpling amazed me for its basic plot of a man and a shoe, but it ended up utterly enthralling and disturbing me at the same time. And sweet baby Jebus, what an ending!

The finale of series three, Private View, was just delicious. There’s plenty of death and blood in this one, topped off with an interesting insight into modern art and a wicked sting in the tail. To Have and to Hold is one of those episodes that may not scream horror at you, but the story is still deeply disturbing. I just have to mention the Halloween live special that is Dead Line. Not one of my favourites, story-wise but it is just such an amazing piece of TV and brilliantly delivered. Death Be Not Proud works as a great twisted tale that is as bizarre as it is funny, as it is macabre. The Stakeout is an episode that starts out blood-soaked and tells you outright that one of the main characters is dead. What happens from then on seems pretty ordinary, but there’s a wonderful undercurrent of dread throughout.

I really do adore episodes that feel like they are going in one direction, only for them to lead you down the garden path and hit you with a dark ending, Hurry Up and Wait is one of those episodes. How Do You Plead? has a gothic, old-timey feel to it from the off. The story feels very grounded and leads to a hellish finale that both seemingly comes from nowhere and still feels very right. Mr King is an episode that (as I said in the retrospective) is dripping in the atmosphere of a certain British folk-horror flick. There were no surprises for me with this one, but I still really bloody enjoyed it. Nine Lives Kat because I do love it when writers explore writing. The cheesy dialogue and awful clichés are brilliantly placed for a good reason. Inside No. 9 has a bit of a reputation for going into some dark places, with the Wise Owl episode… fuck me! This is about as grim as the show has ever got (so far). The story is bleak the writing is jet-black depressing. Even when this show went to some horrific places, there was still some form of humour to be found. Not here, this is just dark and twisted from start to end. Okay, there is some really black humour here, if you enjoy laughing at baldy taxidermied rabbits.

Well, that’s all folks. My lengthy Inside No. 9 retrospective has reached its end. Well, until the last two series are made and aired anyway. All being well, I’ll be back to finish this in 2024.

Series Four

This series was shown from the 2nd of January to the 6th of February 2018.  Well, I have to be honest, I have no idea what to expect with these next two series. I know that there will be twists and turns, I know there will be horror and dark humour and there could even be a bit of lightheartedness and a happy ending or two. I honestly don’t know what to expect, so I guess I had better expect any and everything when it comes to what goes on in Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith’s minds.

Zanzibar

Prince Rico (Rory Kinnear) arrives at the hotel Zanzibar with his bodyguard Henry (Reece Shearsmith). After checking into his room, Henry reveals to us the audience that he plans on killing Prince Rico. Gus (also Rory Kinnear) checks into the hotel on the same floor (number 9) and is mistaken for Prince Rico and vice versa. Other residents on the same floor, including Robert (Steve Pemberton), end up getting mixed up in the mixing up of Prince Rico and Gus as a much more intertwining story is slowly revealed.

To be honest, this one doesn’t have that much of an interesting plot. There are a few twists and turns along the way, but the ultimate resolve is rather flat and very obvious. But what does lift this yarn is how it is played out and presented. The characters break the fourth wall and directly address us the viewer, and they do it via some very Shakespeare-esque delivery. All of the dialogue is told in the form of Iambic pentameter and it’s very rhythmic. I may not have enjoyed the story much and I’ve never been a fan of Shakespeare, but I do admire just how this one was crafted.

Bernie Clifton’s Dressing Room

Somewhat popular in the 1980s, comedy double-act Tommy ‘Cheese’ (Reece Shearsmith) and Len ‘Crackers’ (Steve Pemberton) meet up for one final gig to try and reinvigorate the old double-act. They haven’t worked together for decades following a bitter falling out. Tommy has moved on from his comedy roots and become pretty successful in his life. Len’s life headed in a very different direction and he became a washed-up alcoholic. As they practise their old comedy routines, with a few updates for a modern audience, exactly what caused the rift between the two is brought to the surface.

This one was absolutely brilliant. I grew up in the 80s when the classic comedy double-act was regular viewing on TV. The likes of Cannon and Ball, Little and Large or Morecambe and Wise (to name a few) were ruling the airwaves. Light-hearted family comedy that everyone would tune into on a Saturday night and would pull in multiples of millions of viewers every week. The fictional Cheese and Crackers here existed as one of those popular double-acts within our reality. The nods and references to those well-remembered comedians of the day (and some long-forgotten ones) come thick and fast. The tale of what happened to Cheese and Crackers is as (outdatedly) funny as it is heartbreaking. This one plays out like pure perfection in short story form. Just what does Bernie Clifton’s (one of those long-forgotten British comedians) dressing room have to do with any of this? Well, quite a lot. The two characters played by Pemberton and Shearsmith are perfectly portrayed and they are the only two in this episode too (save for one minor role at the end). Yet, even with just the two characters, there’s a lot going on and a lot to take in. It all leads to an ending that certainly took me by surprise and one that had me feeling nostalgic for those Saturday nights growing up watching those comedy double-acts.

Once Removed

May (Monica Dolan) is moving house and she hires Spike (Nick Moran) to do all of the heavy lifting. When Viktor (Reece Shearsmith) makes an appearance, Spike soon learns that this house move is anything but ‘normal’. A dementia-suffering old man (David Calder) who thinks he is Andrew Lloyd Webber and the dead body of an estate agent (Steve Pemberton) in the toilet are just the start… or end of the crazy events and secrets that the house holds.

What you have here is not so much a whodunit? mystery. This is more like a whydunit? The whole episode plays out via reverse chronology. So, you start at the end and make your way to the beginning. After the opening errr, ending, the episode jumps back 10 minutes to cover the 10 minutes that explains just what happened to lead to the start (end) that you just watched. After which, it then goes back another 10 minutes to cover the events that led up to the previous 10 minutes. Then, to finally jump back to the last 10 minutes to cover the end (beginning) that explains everything that you need to know about the last 20 minutes that you just watched. The reverse chronology of this episode is pulled off very well indeed and this is one that you’ll want to re-watch to try and spot all the subtle clues, clever dialogue and acting that reveals more than you’ll first realise. A cracking episode that is just crying out for multiple viewings.

To Have and to Hold

Married couple Adrian (Steve Pemberton) and Harriet (Nicola Walker) are having some relationship issues. They are childless after 20 years and Harriet once had a ‘thing’ with one of her work colleagues. That is on top of the usual money worries and then there is the lack of sex. It’s a marriage that is sinking fast. Adrian seems to be the most boring person on the planet who spends most of his time in the basement where he has set up his own photography room. Here, he is struggling to run his business as he offers his experience as a photographer to take pictures of much happier couples on their big day.

Split into five acts that are based around the classic wedding vows of ‘to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part’. This tale is seemingly very plain and uninteresting, until the Pot Noodles get involved. Steve Pemberton plays his character perfectly and he really does come across as a meek and cuckolded husband. While Nicola Walker as the overbearing and adulterous wife is quite horrible (in a good way) and she is great at it too. A simple suburban yarn about a borderline bullying wife and a husband who has all but given up and been rendered impotent. Then the twist hits you and suddenly, everything is put into perspective. This is a great episode, even if the ending feels a little rushed, it is still wonderfully satisfying.

And the Winner Is…

A group of TV insiders gather to vote on who should get the Best Actress award. Clive (Reece Shearsmith) is a screenwriter who is desperately looking at getting his latest screenplay turned into a TV show. Gordon (Noel Clarke) is a successful director that Clive keeps sucking up to in an attempt of getting his screenplay made into a TV show. Actors Rupert (Kenneth Cranham) and Paula (Zoë Wanamaker) are a little older, wiser, grumpier and really don’t feel like they want to be there. TV critic June (Fenella Woolgar) offers her not-so-well-observed opinions on who should win. Then there is Jackie (Phoebe Sparrow), the only non-insider of the lot. A random nobody brought in for a more ‘grounded’ view and opinion. The whole thing is chaired by Giles (Steve Pemberton). There are arguments, histories dragged up and much more as the voters just can not agree on who is the best actress or why.

I both liked and disliked this episode in equal measure. Honestly, it’s really not that interesting of a story in the grand scheme. But I loved the interactions between the characters and the acting is great. The little arguments and nitpicking really are entertaining. Then there are the (I think) intentional digs at the pointlessness and (perhaps) injustice of awards. The best actress is not really being judged on her acting per se. Points are raised like skin colour for the ‘diversity vote’, age, looks, have the nominees previously won and more. Acting ability seems to be something this is more of a thing that is nice to have over certain other factors. I did see the ending coming by about the halfway point, but I still enjoyed it as it was a nice satirical stab of a yarn.

Tempting Fate

Keith (Steve Pemberton), Nick (Reece Shearsmith) and Maz (Weruche Opia) are a trio of heavy-duty cleaning contractors, who are brought in to clean out a dingy abode. The flat belonged to mass-hoarder Frank (Nigel Planer) who ended up killing himself. Maz is the newest of the three and is still getting used to the job. Whereas, Keith and Nick are the old guard and take everything in their stride. While cleaning the flat, they learn that Frank was rich, that he had won over £3 million on the lottery and yet, he still lived in disgusting squalor in a small three-roomed hovel. When they discover a seemingly plain bronze hare ornament and a video message from Frank, this house clearance takes a turn for the very macabre.

What you have here is basically another take on the classic Monkey’s Paw tale. You know the one, someone comes across a mysterious monkey’s paw and they get three wishes that have dire consequences. There have to be several dozen different versions of this story by now, via films, TV and literature. Here, that ‘monkey’s paw’ is actually the bronze hare ornament that appears in every episode of Inside No. 9. Only, instead of being in the background of a shot, as usual, it is given a starring role and a history. Do you know what? I love a good take on the classic Monkey’s Paw tale and this is a great one. Obviously, knowing Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith’s writing here at the end of series four, I was trying to second-guess where this one was going. I admit, they got me. While it does follow the staples of a good Monkey’s Paw adaptation, Pemberton and Shearsmith put their own stamp on it and still manage to surprise. A good horror tale with a fantastic twist and a great end to the series.

Dead Line

Arthur (Steve Pemberton) comes home on Halloween after finding a mobile phone in a graveyard while out shopping. The phone rings, Arthur answers it and he can hear strange and ominous voices, but can’t quite understand what is being said. The call soon disconnects. Wanting to find the owner of the phone, Arthur redials the last number called and it is answered by Moira (Stephanie Cole), Arthur explains the situation and Moira agrees to contact the rightful owner of the phone for him. Later, Arthur gets a visit from the local Reverend (Reece Shearsmith) and that is when things begin to take a turn for the worst.

This episode wasn’t actually part of series four. This one was a one-off Halloween special that aired in 2018, several months after series four had concluded. What made it special was the fact that this was broadcast live, the first and only episode of Inside No. 9 to do so. What you get with this episode is both one of the best and most uninteresting episodes of the show so far. Now, I did say in the intro to this retrospective that I wasn’t going to do spoilers. For this episode, I really, really have to, so that I can better explain my view. I also said in the intro that I would be doing a separate spoiler-rific article for one particular episode. Well, this is that bit and the spoiler-rific article can be found right here. Massive spoilers lie within that link, you have been warned and will be warned again.

Series Five

Shown between the 3rd of February to the 9th of March 2020. You know, I honestly believe that I am getting the measure of Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith by now. I believe that, after four series, I have their writing style down pat and will not be fooled so easily now. Still, I have just finished a series involving backwards chronology and a live episode that was utter genius on a technical and production level. I really shouldn’t feel so cocky and just accept that they are still going to get me.

The Referee’s a W***er

Martin (David Morrissey) is the referee for a major football match at the end of the season. Joined by his assistants Phil (Ralf Little), Oggy (Steve Pemberton) and Brendan (Reece Shearsmith), the officials are there to ensure that the match goes off without any issues. An incident during the match throws the game into utter chaos. When it is releveled that one of Martin’s assistants has taken a bribe to help fix the game, things begin to turn south fast. This is Martin’s last game before he retires and he has always been a stickler for the rules. Will he let the infraction slide or will he turn one of his assistants in and keep his clean sheet?

I have to be honest, my first viewing of this and I didn’t think much of it. But watching it a second and third time really opened my eyes as to how brilliantly written and layered this episode is. This one plays up for laughs, no creepy horror or jump scares here. Still, there is a great tale of morality and justice against the backdrop of a football dressing room. A line of dialogue (or several) that seems innocent really plays into the plot and characters when you know the ending. This is why more than one viewing of this one is essential. A simple game of football turns into complete disarray, a comedy of errors and the W***er of the title may not be the word that you think it is.

Death Be Not Proud

Beattie (Jenna Coleman) and Sam (Kadiff Kirwan) are a young couple who have just moved into a flat that they managed to buy at a fantastically reduced price. Like, £100,000 off the asking price, fantastic. Why so cheap? Because the flat used to belong to a killer and stories have been told that at least one person was killed there. When Sam tries to get in contact with the previous owner, to see if there is any truth in the tales of murder, things go surprisingly dark and morbid with a thick vein of very macabre humour when the previous owner turns up.

I didn’t know this when I first watched this episode, because I’ve not really been a fan of Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith’s other works. But anyway, this episode is a (sort of) sequel/crossover with one of their previous shows, Psychoville. Pemberton plays David and Shearsmith plays his mother, Maureen, who were the main characters in that show. Not knowing anything about Psychoville didn’t ruin my enjoyment of this episode at all. If anything, it has made me want to watch that show next. So, you don’t really need to know who these characters are and Death Be Not Proud works perfectly well as its own thing. Everything is self-contained and tells a bizarrely crackpot story that is jet-black funny and horrifically disturbing in equal measure. I’m off to watch Psychoville next.

Love’s Great Adventure

Julia (Debbie Rush) and Trevor (Steve Pemberton) are the parents of a family. There is Connor (Olly Hudson-Croker) the youngest child, Mia (Gaby French) the middle child and Patrick (Bobby Schofield) the mysterious and largely absent oldest child. It’s coming up to Christmas and all that Julia and Trevor want is a nice and normal family festive celebration. Several everyday family issues may just prevent that from happening though.

If there is one thing that Inside No. 9 does well, that thing is not really following any kind of a pattern or even genre. You get episodes steeped in horror, drama, comedy and more. There is one thing that connects the episodes though (not just the bronze hare statue thing) and that thing is that every episode has some kind of twist or sting… except for this one. There is no real twist for me to spoil here, no rug pulling. There is a bridge that links two subplots, but no real twist. This is a story about everyday family life that just evolves over the course of the episode. Each scene is split into a day and each day is counted down via the use of a traditional Christmas advent calendar. It feels very much like a soap opera plot that would usually be told over several weeks and months, but told here in 20-odd minutes and done so with much more talent too. This is just a bittersweet family drama and we learn more and more about this family as the days tick by. Apparently, most of it was ad-libbed too.

Misdirection

Struggling magician Neville (Reece Shearsmith) has a visit from Willy (Steve Pemberton). Willy shows off a new floating chair magic trick. It’s an impressive trick too, one that Neville just can not work out how it is done. He asks to buy the trick, but Willy refuses to sell. Desperate to get his hands on the trick so he can make a lot of money, Neville kills Willy and takes the trick as his own. Nine years later and Neville has become one of the most acclaimed magicians around, famed for ‘his’ floating chair trick. Gabriel (Fionn Whitehead), a young and eager magician himself, turns up at Neville’s place to interview the well-respected magician in hope that he can get some advice on how to get better at his craft.

This episode very much put me in mind of The Riddle Of The Sphinx from series three. Its style of writing, its multilayered and clever scripting and the seemingly straightforward plot. Misdirection is a wonderful tale of, well… misdirection. Even though I kind of worked out where the episode was going and who the Gabriel character was, there is still a lot here that did fool me. Still, I think that the idea of who Gabriel is was part of the misdirection that made this episode so damn great. A magical episode that, even when you do work out where it is going, it still manages to surprise and entertain.

Thinking Out Loud

Meet Bill (Phil Davis), an older man looking for love via video dating. Meet Nadia (Maxine Peake), a middle-aged woman using video to record her thoughts as a form of therapy. Meet Galen (Steve Pemberton) a death-row prisoner confessing his crimes on camera. Meet Angel (Ioanna Kimbook), a vacuous and insipid ‘influencer’ talking bollocks to all her ‘fans’ over the internet. Meet Aidan (Reece Shearsmith), a terminally ill cancer sufferer who is recording a video for his unborn daughter to watch after he has died. Meet Diana (Sandra Gayer), a church singer with the voice of an angel taking part in a singing audition on camera. Aside from all of these characters talking (or singing) to camera, what else do they share in common?

I know that I have continually praised the writing of Inside No. 9 at every opportunity. Even with episodes that I have felt are ‘lesser’, I have still found the writing to be exceptional. Here with Thinking Out Loud, this is easily one of the most creative and densely written episodes yet. This really is one that you will have to watch multiple times to get everything. There are so many clues and outright giveaways of what is really going on here that they pass you by, just hiding in plain sight. Foreshadowing, double meanings and mirrored dialogue everywhere, and for good reason too. This one also breaks one of the rules of the show, as it takes place in more than one location… kind of. It is also directed by Steve Pemberton. Though Pemberton and Shearsmith co-directed both the Cold Comfort and Nana’s Party episodes from series two, this is the first time that either of them has directed an episode solo. It’s a really great one too.

The Stakeout

Special Police Constable Varney (Reece Shearsmith) is dead. That’s not a spoiler, the episode starts out with him covered in blood and his voiceover telling you that he is dead. We then cut back in time to the events that led to an explanation of just how and why Varney ended up being covered in blood and dead. Varney is partnered up with PC Thompson (Steve Pemberton) and the pair are on a police stakeout. As they spend all their time together stuck in a police car for hours on end, the two have plenty of time to talk and learn more about each other. Such as Varney’s overly sensitive nose for odours. It turns out that Thompson’s previous partner ended up dead too and forensic evidence that could lead to who killed him has gone missing. With the episode starting out showing you that Varney is dead too, it is only a matter of joining the dots to learn who did kill Thompson’s previous partner.

Okay, right from the off, this one got me. The rug was well and truly pulled from under my feet. The thing is that, all of the evidence of what the reveal at the end of the episode is here. Just as with the previous episode, everything is hiding in plain sight. When I did get to the end of this one, I did have a WFT moment and was ready to call this out for being utter bullshit and ‘out of nowhere’ ending. But a second viewing soon shut me up because Pemberton and Shearsmith have (once more) put together a very well-written and tight story that does not cheat the viewer. A great end to a great series.

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Overall

Normally with TV shows, the fatigue sets in around the third or fourth series and I often begin to lose interest. With Inside No. 9, the exact opposite seems to be happening. If Forrest Gump were to describe this show, it most definitely would be like a box of chocolates, which is a phrase I’ve never understood because all boxes of chocolates that I have bought tell you exactly what you are going to get. Anyway, these two series cover everything from comedy and horror to kitchen-sink drama and even a bit of Shakespearean prose. Even when I thought that I got the measure of an episode, it still managed to surprise me. The live Dead Line Halloween special really is a wonderful slice of modern TV. I may not have thought much of the actual plot and it didn’t ultimately catch me out, but the production and process of the episode was amazing and something that I deeply admire.

Inside No. 9 is a show that has me smiling from ear to ear at one episode, to feeling heartbroken with another… sometimes in the same episode. The fatigue that I mentioned has not happened yet and as I am now five series in and heading to the finish line of this retrospective with the last two series, I’m like a 6-year-old kid on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa to turn up. I really want to take a cheeky peek at my presents and get an idea of what I will be getting… but I won’t.

I have always had a bit of a penchant for anthology storytelling in movies and TV shows. A couple of Halloweens ago, I did a big Creepshow retrospective looking at all the films, the first season of the TV show and everything in between. Before that, I did a longer retrospective looking at all of the Amicus anthology films of the 60s through to the 80s. So, I wanted to cover some more anthology stories with my Halloween special this year.

The truth is that, I actually began doing a full retrospective of the awesome 90s (though it started in 1989) TV show, Tales From the Crypt. I got three seasons in and decided to take a break. For that break, I watched the first series of Inside No. 9 and well, let’s just say that I got very, very distracted. My Tales From the Crypt retrospective was put on the back burner (maybe next year?) as I got completely lost in Inside No. 9 instead. Now, just what is Inside No. 9 I don’t hear you ask? Well then, allow me to fill you in.

Inside No. 9 is a British anthology show massively inspired by the likes of Tales of the Unexpected, The Twilight Zone, Armchair Thriller, Alfred Hitchcock Presents and the like. Not always 100% horror but certainly stories with a dark, macabre vein of perverse humour. Yarns with twists or stings in the tail that can surprise, entertain and even outright bemuse or just straight up unsettle you. The show is the brainchild of Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith who not only write every single episode, but at least one of them also appears in every single episode, either as a main character or just a supporting one.

The title of the show comes from the fact that every episode takes place in somewhere numbered or connected to 9. A train carriage, a house, etc. It is also partly influenced by the Hammer House of Horror episode called The Mark of Satan, which featured a character obsessed with the number 9 (apparently). Each episode is self-contained and because they usually take place in one confined place, they really feel more like short plays than TV show episodes. There is no direct connection between any of the stories, except for a small ornament of a hare in the background that you can try to spot for fun. Episodes vary in style and tone too from family dramas to black comedies and even straight-up horror stories. It also features some really clever and inventive filming techniques and ideas, of which I will cover as I go through the episodes. Speaking of which…

Oh yeah, before I do get into this. I’m purposely not going to be doing spoilers here. Though I will be looking at each individual episode, I am not exploring the endings and I won’t be going into detail (except for one particular episode that I will look at in a separate very spoiler-rific article). So, this should be safe to read if you’ve not yet watched the show. Still, I do recommend that you just watch Inside No. 9 without reading this, if you’re not familiar with the show yet.

Before I forget and just for clarity. This intro that you are reading right now, I wrote after watching all of the series and every episode. However, for the coverage of each series and the episodes themselves, I wrote them as and when I watched them (except for series one, which I watched before I decided to write this). So, I never knew what was coming with each series and the episodes at the time… if that makes sense. Let’s crack on.

Series One

First shown between the 5th of February to the 12th of March 2014. This series started with an episode that was far from being horror-centric, but it did serve as a great introduction to the bizarre, unusual and confined style of storytelling that Inside No. 9 creators, writers and actors, Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith, would use for every single episode.

Sardines

At a party to celebrate their engagement, Rebecca (Katherine Parkinson) and Jeremy (Ben Willbond) decide to play a game of sardines with their guests. Sardines being a variation on hide-and-seek where one person hides but when found, the finder then hides with the hider in the same place. Ian (Tim Key) is the initial hider and when Rebecca finds him hiding in a wardrobe, she joins him. More and more guests find the wardrobe hiding place and climb inside. This is when the various guests (both in and outside of the wardrobe) begin to chat and numerous secrets and pasts of the party members are slowly revealed.

Having the entire episode filmed inside and around a wardrobe is a perfect example of the confined style of tales that would be the show’s selling point. A small-ish cast (though this episode featured one of the show’s biggest casts) in small locations dealing with intimate storytelling. The secrets of the various guests that are revealed really do venture into some dark places at times too, leading to an ending that certainly has a sting in the tail.

A Quiet Night In

Taking place at a very expensive-looking and very modernist house. Gerald (Denis Lawson) sits down to enjoy a bowl of soup. Listening to some Sergei Rachmaninoff, Gerald is unaware of two burglars (Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith) trying to break into his home, who are aiming to steal a very expensive painting. Gerald is seemingly having a few relationship issues with his partner Sabrina (Oona Chaplin). As the couple bicker and argue, they fail to notice the two burglars claim their prize. However, getting out of the house unnoticed with the painting will prove to be a lot harder than getting in without it.

The genius element of this episode is that it is mostly silent with pretty much zero dialogue. The fact that Oona Chaplin (the granddaughter of Charlie Chaplin) was cast to be in a silent episode was genius. Then there is the fact that A Quiet Night In is very slapstick comedy-like, something else that Charlie Chaplin was famed for. However, the slapstick here is far, far more macabre and disturbing than anything that Chaplin ever did. I mean, there is this bit with a Yorkshire Terrier dog and an umbrella stand. There are a lot of surprises here and just when you think you know where the episode is going, Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith pull the rug from under your feet with some deft writing. Definitely one of the darker episodes of the show and one of the better episodes too with plenty of unsuspecting twists from the start to the end.

Tom & Gerri

Tom (Reece Shearsmith) is a primary school teacher who really doesn’t enjoy his job and dreams of being a writer. Tom lives with Gerri (Gemma Arterton), a struggling actress who has just landed a part in a play and is often away rehearsing. Tom becomes preoccupied with a homeless man called Migg (Steve Pemberton) who has been hanging around outside of his flat. Migg knocks on Tom’s door saying that he has found Tom’s wallet and wants to return it. Tom invites Migg into his flat and the two start an unusual friendship. Meanwhile, Gerri begins to worry about Tom’s mental state as he quits his teaching job, spends all day in his flat with Migg and becomes very withdrawn from his own life.

This is what I adore about Inside No. 9, we just came from the slapstick (but dark) comedy of the last episode involving two bumbling burglars and straight into one bereft of comedy and an episode that focuses on mental health and depression. This one is just bleak and has no respite, with an ending that is a complete downer but wonderfully realised. This may not be a 100% accurate depiction of real-life mental illness and depression issues, but it really does make for an excellent slice of TV using it as a theme. This was an episode that certainly wrong-footed me too as I thought that I had guessed where it was going before the halfway point. But no, my guess on the plot direction was wrong and by the time the credits rolled, I was dumbfounded. Both Pemberton and Shearsmith put in amazing acting performances too.

Last Gasp

Terminally ill Tamsin (Lucy Hutchinson) is celebrating her 9th birthday. Her parents, Jan (Sophie Thompson) and Graham (Steve Pemberton) have arranged for a charity to organise a very special surprise for their daughter, a visit from famed singer Frankie J Parsons (David Bedella). When Frankie dies while blowing up a balloon for Tamsin, a plot to try to sell his last gasp of breath, which is in the balloon, is hatched. The grown-ups of Tamsin’s parents, charity worker Sally (Tamsin Greig) and Frankie’s assistant Si (Adam Deacon) begin to fight over just who owns the dead man’s breath.

This episode, with the grim nature of selling a dead person’s dying breath, is loaded with dark comedy and is very watchable. Plus, it really is a twisted look at pointless celeb culture, worship and adulation, while mixing in an interesting narrative on greed and human nature. Lucy Hutchinson playing the terminally ill 9 year old steals the show as she watches the supposed ‘adults’ bicker like children over something as pathetic as a balloon.

The Understudy

Tony (Steve Pemberton) is an overbearing stage actor currently appearing as Macbeth in a production of Shakespeare’s famed play. Jim (Reece Shearsmith) is Tony’s understudy who often dreams of becoming the star of the show. During a performance of Macbeth, Tony gets drunk between acts, Jim is poised to take his place and is encouraged by his girlfriend (Lyndsey Marshal) to do so. However, Tony insists that he goes on, meaning that Jim misses his big chance to take over and play the lead role. When Tony drunkenly falls off the stage during the performance, Jim finally gets his chance to become a leading actor… but at what cost?

The structure of this episode is split into five acts, following the standard for theatrical productions. It also heavily borrows from Shakespeare’s Macbeth to tell its story too, though you really don’t need to have knowledge of Macbeth to follow the plot. In fact, it’s probably best that you don’t know much about Macbeth to get the most out of this one and not spoil any of the surprises. Though you will most probably miss out on most of the in-jokes and references. This episode definitely takes a statical swipe at actors and I do adore it when people (in this case, actors) can have a pop at themselves. The story is deliciously dark, twisted and it leads to a great resolve.

The Harrowing

Schoolgirl Katy (Aimee-Ffion Edwards) is hired to housesit a stately mansion owned by Hector (Reece Shearsmith) and Tabitha (Helen McCrory) while they attend an event. The house is kept at a frosty −3°C as Andras (Sean Buckley), who is Hector and Tabitha’s disabled brother, needs it to be set at that temperature to be conformable. Andras will ring a bell if he needs anything, though Hector and Tabitha say he never uses it anyway and then, Katy is left alone. Shell (Poppy Rush), a friend of Katy, turns up at the house to offer her some help and support…. then the bell rings.

This is the most overtly horror-centric episode of this series, with a gloriously gothic tone throughout. Harking back to classic horror films of the 50s and 60s with the likes of House on Haunted Hill but with a modern edge. This one really is more like a short horror film that really does lean on the macabre more so than any other episode so far. There is some comedy here but it is jet-black comedy that even makes the A Quiet Night In episode look positively jovial… which it isn’t. An episode that really does hit home a much more horror perspective and showcases just how dark Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith can get with their writing.

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Overall

Series one of Inside No. 9 is a great mix of genres and writing styles. This is what I love about anthology storytelling, you can say and do pretty much anything and only be limited by your own imagination. Imagination is something that Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith seem to have by the truckload too. There are dark comedy, slapstick comedy and stories with zero comedy here. Tales that look at serious issues such as mental illness and ones that are just outright stupidly silly for the sake of entertainment.

While I have always been aware of Inside No. 9, as a fan of these types of shows, I never really got into it until this year when I decided to take a break from my (now unfinished) Tales From the Crypt retrospective. And do you know what? I’m glad about that too. This first series is a great start and I honestly can not wait to get everything else watched and written up.

Before I move on to the rest of the series. There was a special Internet-only and interactive webisode called The Inventors from 2014. I believe it used to be on the BBC site but isn’t any longer. I’ve not seen this one and the show’s creators and writers, Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith, weren’t even involved in it (so I don’t count it as canon). I did find this article that covers what it was all about though. Plus there is a YouTube video that you can watch, though it (obviously) has lost its interactive USP. And with that out of the way, series two and three.