Steve Perrin

Game Review: Intruders: Hide And Seek

I do like a good sneaky, sneaky-stealth game. Developer Tessera Studios and publisher Daedalic Entertainment have a new-ish sneaky, sneaky-stealth game out at the moment, Intruders: Hide And Seek. But, is it any good?

Intruders: Hide and Seek is a first-person stealth game, an intense thriller combining intense psychological terror with the point of view of a defenseless boy.

Well, to answer my query of whether Intruders: Hide And Seek is any good? Honestly, is all rather ‘meh’. A quick rundown of the plot. You play as 13-year-old Ben, who moves into a new home with his family. Mom, Dad and younger sister, Irene. One dark and stormy night, three people break into your home, tie up Mom and Dad and put them in the cellar. You and Irene discover a safe room and hole up… for a while. Irene is ill and needs medication, so you (as Ben) have to go and get that medication from somewhere in the house. Do your best to sneak, hide and evade the intruders as you reveal more about Irene’s illness, her medication and exactly what your Dad has been up to and why these three people have invaded your home.

The story is probably the best thing about this game and even then, it’s not that great. Very predictable and it leads to an ending that you’ll see coming about 10 minutes in. Speaking of time, this is a very, very, very short game. I didn’t time myself, as I really wasn’t expecting this to be over as soon as it was. But I’ll guesstimate that I finished this in a little over 2 hours. I first thought that I have just played through a long introduction when the end credits rolled. Just to double-check, I looked up a walkthrough on YouTube and found someone finish the game in 1 hour and 16 minutes. Bearing in mind that walkthrough was by someone who’d already completed the game and knew what they were doing. So yeah, for someone playing for the first time, I reckon about 2 hours.

Now, there is nothing wrong with a short game, but that shortness needs to be put into perspective. A short game crammed with great gameplay and repeatability is fantastic. A short game that has none of that though? A very different story. Intruders: Hide And Seek is just lacking in every aspect. The graphics look about 15 years out of date, even for a small indie title. The voice acting is atrocious. But the real letdown is the gameplay, it’s just woefully dull.

There’s a basic tutorial to get you used to the controls and the basic gameplay is very reminiscent of Alien: Isolation. You know, you’re pretty much alone with a menace stalking you. You can hide in cabinets and under beds to avoid being seen and so on. As I say, very Alien: Isolation. But, unlike Alien: Isolation, there’s no sense of suspense or dread because the gameplay is not there. Just going back to that tutorial for a second, there is a part where you have to hide and you’re introduced to a mini-game where you have to control your heart rate as one of the intruders looks for you. Do you know how many times I had to do that in the game (outside of the tutorial)? Never, not once.

I never had to do it because I never had to hide (with the exception of one or two scripted parts). I never had to hide as the AI threat is pretty much non-existent. Even though there are three intruders looking for you, they are incredibly stupid and you can get away from them just by running away a bit. Run down a hallway and around a corner and they just stop looking for you. The only time I had to hide in this game was when the story forced me to. Even then, I had to question the stupidity of the intruders.

For instance, there is one point in the game where you use your Dad’s laptop to try and contact the police. The intruders have put some software (or something) on the Internet to track when and where you do use that laptop, So, (slight spoilers) when you do try to contact the police, a message pops up from the intruders letting you that they know where you are and are coming for you… and they do. You’re in your Dad’s study with no way out other than the door you came in, and the intruders are on the other side of that door coming into the study. You have only a few seconds to hide. So you do, in one of the cabinets. The intruders come in, and a quick reminder, they know you are in the study and were there just 5 seconds ago with no other way out. So, the intruders come into the study, spend a grand total of 0.3 seconds looking for you, conclude that you’ve escaped (even though there is no way out), never bother to check any hiding places, deliver some exposition and then leave the room.

The core gameplay is just you running from one room of the house to another and basically doing fetch quests. Before you can use your (aforementioned) Dad’s laptop, you need the password. The password is in the library. Run to the library, get the password and run back to the laptop. Everything that you do in this game is just ‘run here grab this and run back’. As the intruders are piss-easy to avoid and outsmart, the sneaky, sneaky-stealth gameplay is pretty much pointless.

Intruders: Hide And Seek is too simple, too forgiving and offers up no challenge. There’s no suspense or tension. Hiding (in a game with hide and seek in the title) is irrelevant. The AI is shockingly bad. Then, you’ll see the end credits in around 2 hours. There is a collectable jigsaw thing to find if you really want to, so add another 20-30 minutes to the game’s length.

Around £18 is how much this will set you back and that is way, way too high a price tag for the game you get. As I write this, Intruders: Hide And Seek is on sale (until the 23rd of March) on Steam for £1.74 and that is a much fairer price. Now, I do have to say how this was originally released for VR on both PC and PlayStation. I’ve been playing the more recent Xbox release. I think that maybe playing in VR could raise this up in the gameplay stakes a very small amount. But for these latest Xbox and Switch non-VR releases, I really don’t see the point.

Intruders: Hide And Seek isn’t a particularly terrible game, it’s just a very, very mundane game with very little to do. It plays more like an unfinished beta over a full release. Coming with that hefty £18 price tag, I say avoid this and grab it in a sale down the road for around £5 or less.

Game Review: Brok the InvestiGator

LBoG: Game Overviews

I was in my teenage years in the early 90s when the point n’ click adventure genre was king. Studios the likes of Sierra and Lucasarts ruled the decade with their fiendish puzzles, brilliant stories and wonderful characters. Of course, the greatest point ‘n click game was Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis. No arguments, that is just a simple fact. Anyway, the point ‘n click genre has had a bit of a resurgence in the last few years. Published and developed by COWCAT comes a modern take on the genre with Brok the InvestiGator.

“Brok is a narrative-driven game that blends action, puzzles and investigation in never-before-seen ways. Will you use your brain… or your brawn?

Brok, private detective and former boxer, lives with Graff, the son of his deceased wife. Although he could never elucidate the nature behind her accident, recent events may shed some light on an even more tragic outcome… one that may be linked to their own existence.

Will they be able to withstand the threats of this corrupted world and face their own destiny?”

So yeah, Brok the InvestiGator is the first ever punch ‘n click game… but what is that exactly? Putting it into basic terms, it’s a point ‘n click game mixed with the beat ’em up genre. But is this truly the first? The first to use the term punch ‘n click, maybe, but definitely not the first point ‘n click game to throw in some fisticuffs action. Just off the top of my head, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: The Graphic Adventure from 1989. You could practice boxing in the opening at the college. Then, you’d put those boxing skills to the test when you could punch the crap out of various Nazis as you made your way through the game.

Semantics aside, Brok the InvestiGator is being labelled as the first ever punch ‘n click game, so let’s go with it. This is how it all works in the game too. Using the tried and tested point ‘n click formula, you play as Brok (and his adopted son Graff, more on him later). Brok is an ex-boxer turned private detective. After an interesting tutorial that gets you used to the controls, as well as setting up a backstory, you receive a call from a client that is the start of the story, which I have no intention of spoiling here.

The controls work as you would expect from any modern-day point ‘n click game. You move Brok through various locations, talk to NPCs, pick up items, find clues and solve many really clever puzzles. But this is a game where you need to use your fists as well as your brain. With a tap of a button, you can swap between adventure mode and action mode. This can be done on the fly at (pretty much) any point in the game. This dual gameplay mechanic plays a big part in just how you will make your way through the game and the kind of detective you will be.

There are some parts of the game where you have no choice but to fight. The fighting here is simple but really well implemented. You have very a basic attack, jump, block and special attack. It isn’t exactly complex but it doesn’t really need to be. The beat ’em up sections work really well and never feel out of place in this point ‘n click adventure title. However, there are other parts where fighting is more of an alternate option. You can sometimes talk your way out of a fight. Fighting is always the simplest solution and the quickest way to make your way through the game and it is mostly up to you which path you take. Do you go in fists flying, or do you decide to use the old noodle more and think your way out of a problem?

One very early example of this comes when you have to gain access to a building. Said building is inaccessible as a shutter blocks your way. There is a keypad that requires the correct number to open that shutter. You can use the keypad properly and input the passcode, once you find it… or you can just punch the crap out of it. There are loads of examples of this in the game and how you chose to play can have an effect on the outcome. Brok the InvestiGator is a title that encourages multiple playthroughs, which for a point ‘n click game, is very unusual. Once you finish one of these games, there is very little reason to return to it because well, you’ve already solved the puzzles and they never change. Here, you can play through the game more than once and try different things.

As I previously mentioned, you play as both Brok and his adopted son, Graff. Whereas Brok is the muscle, Graff is more the brains. The two characters play differently, even though they both use the punch ‘n click gameplay. Graff is a bit weaker than Brok and does not hit as hard either. But he makes up for his lack of strength with his speed. There’s even a light RPG element as you earn EXP after fighting and can level up. Once you do level up, you can pick one of three skills to upgrade. Still, switching to action mode isn’t always about punching. As the characters can jump in action mode, there are some parts of the game where you’ll do some light platforming. Maybe an item will be out of reach, maybe there’s an alternate route that you can take by jumping?

There really is a lot to unpack with Brok the InvestiGator. Outside of the main quest, you can help strangers, play mini-games, look for hidden secrets and more. There’s an in-game hint system but to get a hint, you first need to find ‘ads’. There are three of these ads hidden in each location that you will visit. Some of them are quite easy to find, others much more tricky. As you can only buy a hint using these ads and as there are only three ads at each location (and given the fact that you have to find them first), this does mean that hints are finite. So, you have to use them sparingly. Thankfully, I managed to see the end credits without using a single hint. There were times when I got stumped by a puzzle, but I refused to seek help, I wanted to see how easy or hard this was to finish without the hints. My conclusion was that Brok the InvestiGator is a tough but fair game. Some of the puzzles are most definitely head-scratchers, but they are all solvable with some lateral thinking.

I have been playing Brok the InvestiGator on Xbox and point ‘n click games usually don’t translate well to consoles as these are games best suited to using a mouse. Still, the controls here work very well indeed. You can control the characters directly with the left stick, or you can use the right stick for more of a traditional point ‘n click experience with a pointer and all that. Holding down a button will show everything that can be interacted with on the current screen. This can be very handy if you get stuck or have missed a vital clue. The beat ’em up controls are basic but work very well and never feel out of place.

Brok the InvestiGator is available right now for PC and all the consoles and will set you back around £20. There is a lot of game here and to see the best ending, you will need to play through the game more than once as you will definitely not see and do everything the first time around. With three difficulty settings (a fourth one is unlockable), a good 10-12 hours long story (longer if you get stuck), multiple endings, alternate ways to solve puzzles, decisions to make, adventure and action gameplay mechanics. Brok the InvestiGator offers plenty of gameplay to get your teeth into. The Disney/Saturday morning cartoon art and animation style really gives the game a lot of character too. If you are a point ‘n click adventure fan, then get Brok the InvestiGator on your ‘to play list’. It is one of the best modern point ‘n click games that I have played recently and I’m going right back into it to try different routes and see the different endings.

Game Review: Fight’N Rage

LBoG: Game Overviews

There is something really satisfying about a scrolling beat ’em up. The torch that was lit by the likes of Double Dragon and Final Fight is still being carried decades later. Modern-day brawlers, such as Streets of Rage 4 and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge are bringing the old-school back for both new and original fans. Developer Seba Games Dev and publisher BlitWorks offer a new, old-school beat ’em up with Fight’N Rage.

“Fight’N Rage is a brand new old-school side-scroller beat’em up. Inspired by the classics from the “golden age”, and with an art style that mimics the aesthetic from the 90’s arcade gems, this game pays homage to all classic gameplay features that makes this genre one of the best from its time!”

Woah, calm down there press blurb. I’m doing the review and I’ll decide if Fight’N Rage is ‘one of the best from its time’. The truth is that Fight’N Rage is already a few years old at this point and has seen a release on pretty much everything. However, this is a review of the more recent Xbox Series X version. In terms of the differences between this new release on current-gen consoles and the release on the previous-gen, there is pretty much nothing to cover. But, when talking of Fight’N Rage as an overall title, irrespective of the machine that you are playing it on, there’s so much more to write about. I think the game now runs at a buttery smooth 120fps on the PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series X|S but other than that, Fight’N Rage is exactly the same as it was previously.

Right from the moment that you load Fight’N Rage, you are hit with a huge blast of very 90s arcade nostalgia. The music and the title screen, before you even start the game, sound and look like you just stepped into an arcade circa 1991. There’s even a faux arcade cabinet boot-up screen that has more than a couple of references. Once you do start the game, you are then greeted by a massive menu with loads of locked content. The only play mode at the start is ‘yer basic arcade one. You alone (or you can team up with two friends offline) have to take on massive groups of enemies as you battle your way across a post-apocalyptic future to deal with The Boss and his mutant henchmen… err, henchmutants. Story-wise… does it even matter? Just as with these classic beat ’em ups of the day, the story here is inconsequential.

There are three playable characters to pick from. You get Gal, who doesn’t look too dissimilar to Mai Shiranui from Fatal Fury, complete with massive bouncing boobs. Gal is a speedy ninja-type lass, but the weakest of the characters. Ricardo is a massive man-bull hybrid. A minotaur, I guess. He’s slow and clunky but the most powerful of the three. Then, there is F. Norris who is the literal middleman. An older (maybe a Chuck Norris reference) fighter that is a fair balance between speed and strength. All three characters play and feel differently and you’ll need to learn all three if you want to get the most out of this game.

All the usual scrolling beat ’em up fare is here. Items to find when you smash open barrels and so on, very Final Fight. Various weapons to pick up and use. Food to give you much-needed health. There’s also a power-up thing that gives you the ability to do some serious damage. The basic controls for Fight’N Rage are just that, basic. You have a single attack, a jump and a special attack button… that’s it. No light or heavy attacks, no punch or kick buttons, just the one attack. Now, don’t go thinking that makes this a rather limited game in terms of the fighting, because it doesn’t. The combat may be simple on the surface, but it’s also pretty extensive once you get into it proper. The direction you move the stick and exactly when you press the attack and even how many times you press it, all add to a surprisingly deep combat system.

With some practice, you’ll be pulling off impressive combos, juggling enemies in the air and watching them explode into a pile of bones (which is very satisfying and never gets boring to see). It’s really spectacular just how deep the combat is with Fight’N Rage especially as you only have one attack button. Button-mashers will be able to make their way through the game fairly competently. But to really get the most out of the characters and their move sets, you’ll need to put in some serious practice. Thankfully, one of the many, many unlockables is a training mode where you can learn each of the character’s moves, strengths and weaknesses. This training mode is paramount if you really want to understand just how deep the combat is.

Fight’N Rage is also stuffed with nods, references and jokes covering some of the most revered beat ’em ups ever made. Do you want a non-copyright infringing mix of the Battletoads and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Gal looking very much like Mai Shiranui from Fatal Fury, I have already covered. Ricardo is basically Hagar from Final Fight and even has a similar move set. The female enemies with whips are straight from Double Dragon and so many more. Street Fighter II gets several nods itself. Then, there are subtle references to very famous martial arts films too. Enter the Dragon, Kickboxer and others, get their own mentions for you to find, even Steven Seagal gets one. If you are a fan of the beat ’em up genre or kung-fu flicks, then you are bound to notice several cheeky allusions.

You know in a classic scrolling beat ’em up, that you always go from left to right? Well, you do that here too only, you don’t have to. You can mix it up and go right to left if you wish. This takes you down a different route and is like having two games in one. Then, there are secrets and branching paths down each of those two routes too, meaning even more for you to discover. Over 50 different endings, yes over 50. These endings are discovered by experimenting, playing as different characters, trying various routes and your overall performance. There is so much game here that Fight’N Rage isn’t a title that you will be playing for hours. You’re more likely to be playing it for days, weeks and months if you’re planning on getting 100%.

There are even multiple CRT screen and retro filters that you can use to give yourself a real 90s arcade feel. Though I personally turned them off just so I could enjoy the artwork more clearly. The graphics here are very obviously retro-inspired, very early-90s. And about those graphics. They are bright, bold and really capture that arcade style. The crunching sound effects and awesome guitar-riff heavy chip-tunes just make you think you are back in 1991. Fight’N Rage is the complete package and a package with a lot of content to unlock. As the trailer proudly proclaims, no DLC. You play to unlock all the extra content, not pay for it. As it used to be and as it should be. This is a game that pays homage to old-school beat ’em ups and does it really well too.

£17 or less is how much Fight’N Rage will cost you, depending on the format. You get a ton of content here with seven different game modes, unlockable characters, costumes and so much more. There are hours upon hours worth of game here. Under all of that though, the core gameplay is basic but really bloody enjoyable. I have to break out a tired old cliché as this is one of those games that is easy to pick up and play, but hard to master. The one-button fighting mechanics are simple to grasp and you’ll be kicking bum cheeks in seconds. But to really get to grips with the game and learn the characters, pull off impressive combos and so on? That takes so much more time and effort to really understand. The fighting mechanics of Fight’N Rage are both simple and very complex.

Even though you can blast through the main story in an hour or so, there’s so much here to keep you entertained for much, much longer. It’s a shame there is no online multiplayer. But then again, couch co-op is what these games are all about. Oh and if you have no friends, you can get the AI to play (once you unlock it) with you and do you know what? The AI ain’t too bad either. It can be a bit of an issue to make out exactly where your character is during mass brawls as there can be so much going on. That’s my only real niggle with this one. Fight’N Rage is packed with content and the branching paths, many multiple endings and simple but tight controls make this a must-play for fans of the genre. Old-school beat ’em up action at its finest. Available from the 1st of March on the current gen, or you can buy it right now on the last gen and PC.

(Mini) Game Review: Planet Cube: Edge

LBoG: Game Overviews

I’m a real sucker for retro-inspired art in games. You often see indie games drawing from the classic 8-bit, 16-bit and even the odd early 32-bit era for their graphics. While technically of the 8-bit era, you don’t really see many games playing homage to the Game Boy’s monochrome and iconic display. Developer Sunna Entertainment and publisher Firestoke offer up Planet Cube: Edge in all of its Game Boy-inspired glory.

“Planet Cube is being invaded! Prepare to run, gun, jump and dash your way through an underwater science complex, collecting fire-power to turn the tables on a mysterious aggressor. This is high-speed adventuring set in a hand-crafted pixel art world, filled with precision platforming and thrills.”

Right off the bat, Planet Cube: Edge does not outright copy that world-recognised Game Boy game look. Though you can clearly tell that it is massively inspired by it. Kind of like a Game Boy game for the HD generation. Also right off the bat, this game is hella hard. As the blurb described, Planet Cube: Edge is a precision platformer. Loads of spikes, pitfalls, enemies, pixel-perfect jumps and the like. This is a game where you will die… a lot. Thankfully, it’s not shy with the checkpoints and death becomes a mild inconvenience over a major issue. Think along the lines of Super Meat Boy or for older gamers, Rick Dangerous. Trial and error is the key to making progress.

The opening of this game was really frustrating and death was occurring every few seconds. Things got a bit easier when I managed to push further into the game and got my hands on a gun, to deal with all the pesky enemies. ‘Easier’ but never ‘easy’. Even when armed with a photon rifle, Planet Cube: Edge’s difficulty is still punishing. As you progress, you gain more skills like a double jump and a dash. But, as you do gain more skills, the game gets even harder.

There’s a good chunk of unlockables to find via collectables on the levels. Usually tucked away in some random place that’ll have you testing your platforming skills. This adds some repeatability for completionists. Your character, Edge feels fine to control. A bit too ‘light’ when jumping and this did throw me off for a while. But I soon got to grips with the slightly floating jumping. The skills that you do gain make controlling Edge that bit more enjoyable.

There are only eight levels here, but in their defence, they are pretty damn big. I did find some of the levels too big and they did begin to feel like a bit of a grind to get through. Plus, there are only so many times that you can jump over spikes before it begins to feel a bit tedious. As you make your way through the game, things do change up… but perhaps just not enough and things do feel a little too ‘samey’.

Available now on PC and all the consoles for the sum of (around) £13. I have to be honest and say that I am not a fan of these precision platformers, really difficult and die every few seconds type of games. I turn 47 this year and I no longer have the reflexes and dexterity that I had in my younger years. Still, I can appreciate when a game does what it does well, even if I don’t like the genre itself. Planet Cube: Edge is good. If you are a fan of this type of tricky-dicky platformers, you’ll get a lot of enjoyment out of this one and I suggest that you give it a go. The graphics are awesome too.

A Packet Of Crisps, A Crying 3-Year-Old And How/Why I Trolled A Nation Of Gullible Idiots

LBoM: Editorials

This is an article that is a bit off topic for my blog, but hey, there is a damn good reason why it exists. Normal service will resume shortly.

“A clip round the ear or taking him into care so he gets some decent parenting” suggested Grant Lanario. According to RoseAnne Foy Gilchrist, it was a “prime example of a little brat not getting what he wanted”. “You need to teach that kid some resilience” advised Clare Hemmings Fox Rodney. Nikki Brammers chipped in with “Oh! My! God! You ridiculous specimen!”. Emma Flanagan’s poor grammar had her writing “your printing a story on a mardy brat who didn’t get what he wanted”. “Milo needs to man up” claimed Chris Meakz (slight spoiler, Milo is only 3 years old).

June Seabrook went with “Oh ffs! Stupid spoilt child stupid adults”. Terry Cole had the very insightful “What a w@nk£r” as his comment. Jayde Freda Greene got a tad vitriolic with “your grandson is a spoilt brat and you’re a prat of a grandad”. “the vacant look on his face looks like that of someone who has been lobotomized” added Elmo Waters. “Grandad and kid deserve a slap” said John Bickley, thinking that hitting a 3-year-old child was a good idea. Andy Thomas asked “Wonder where real dad is?”, I fail to see the relevance but you are soon to find out Andy. Cam Wellstead said “You’d think he’d be used to disappointment by now, with being called Milo”, once more that comment from someone calling themselves Cam, the irony is obviously lost on them.

Those were just a handful of the hundreds, thousands of comments from news sites that were made by supposed ‘adults’ aimed at a 3-year-old child and a granddad. It would be really worrying if they were not so pathetically hilarious. But why, why would people who are supposed to be grown-ups, who are allowed to vote, choose to throw insults and threats of violence at a 3-year-old child and his grandfather? I can only assume due to a severe IQ deficiency. Oh, a fake story about a packet of crisps may have had something to do with it too. Please, allow me to explain.

Have you ever looked on news sites and found absolutely pointless non-stories, usually involving the general public, that leave you questioning the low-level gutter press and the lack of a moral compass of the person who is involved in the story? These non-stories come in all shapes and sizes. Some wanker complaining about the wording on a ketchup bottle, a woman crying that a sandwich is ‘sexist’ because it has a male-centric name. There is a subdivision of these non-stories, the compensation face picture story. Or, the compo face story. These compo face stories really are very special as they always involve a member of the public complaining about nothing, looking to get some kind of compensation after getting their faces in the press.

The story will always be accompanied by a nice picture of the person, looking particularly grumpy in order to gain some sympathy and, of course, compensation from the company that they are complaining about. Ergo, a compo face story. These are not so much the scraping of the bottom of the barrel side of news, more like these non-stories have scraped through the bottom of the barrel and have now bore-holed their way to the Earth’s core. Just like this following ‘breaking news’ of a granddad complaining that a packet of crisps made his 3-year-old grandson cry. Feel free to click this image for the full story.

Full story here

Thanks to Birmingham Live for that news story. A news story that spread over the Internet in a few days. Shared by multiple news sites and it even made national news when one of the redtop rags, The Mirror even picked up and shared it. Yup, this utter non-story made the national news. With thousands of comments left by people who have even less of a life than the person that they were trying to insult from the story itself. Just look at the comments left on Metro’s Facebook page, as an example. Over 800 there and even more in the article’s comment section itself, don’t forget Twitter. Just from Metro alone, this non-story generated over one thousand comments and over 2k ‘likes’ all from just one news si and there were several others.

The thing about a lot of these non-stories is that you have to question how genuine they are. I assume that 99% are faked in some way just so the sad-sack involved can get their 15 minutes of fame as they try to get something, anything in terms of compensation for something so mundane. But surely an experienced and professional journalist wouldn’t fall for a fake story? And surely getting a fake story in the press would be next to impossible because said professional journalist would check and double-check before publishing… right? Plus, you’d think that the general public wouldn’t be stupid enough to believe everything that they read.

Well, no on all accounts. That story about the granddad, the crisps and the crying 3-year-old is utter rubbish and really stupid people in the public who left thousands of comments fell for it. I know that it is utter rubbish because, well… I faked it. There is no granddad, just me. Yup, that Steve Perrin in the story is me. And why did I fake a non-story to get it in the press? So that I could have a finale to my book where I have compiled and reviewed dozens and dozens of these non-stories from multiple sources. There was some grain of truth in the faked story though. 3-year-old Milo did exist and was actually my son, not my grandson. He didn’t cry over a packet of crisps though. Mainly because he has an awesome Dad bringing him up and teaching him how the world works. I chose to make up the fictional grandad for other reasons that are detailed in my book.

As for the comments I received, such as the abuse and insults aimed at me and my 3-year-old son that for those leaving comments, was genuine as far as they knew. I’ll be replying to you in good time and showing how ridiculously pathetic you really are. All the snide digs, laughing and threats of physical abuse aimed at a 3-year-old and a grandad when in reality, it was those commenting who were being laughed at. Family, friends and myself getting a really good giggle at just insignificant and how unbelievably stupid you are. Even more when people read my book. “He who laughs last” and all that.

Do you know what the best thing about all the negative Facebook comments that attempted to belittle a 3-year-old and a (faux) granddad is though? Very, very few of them had their profiles set to private. Loads of information to trawl through. Where they went to school, where they work, their relationship status and so much more, all right there on display for anyone to read and do anything that they like with. Just think what somebody could do with that kind of information? Then, there were all the pictures that they had publicly shared. Pictures of themselves, their kids and so on. I wonder, as an example, if somebody had written a book… a book that features a story where that author and his 3-year-old son had faced all sorts of petty abuse. I wonder just how said author could use those pictures. Perhaps the author could feature several pictures in his book and belittle the people, their children and their loved ones children in those pictures in the same way, if he was so inclined? Seems perfectly fair, right?

Now, speaking (well, typing) of being fair, the story didn’t only attract negative comments. I did have a smattering of people smart enough to question the story. A few people did ask if what the news sites were publishing was satire and some did see through my ruse. I also had people sympathising with Milo and explaining how 3-year-olds will cry at anything. These comments did give me a small ray of hope that the general public was not so stupidly gullible, for a while.

Still, no one realizes they’re being fooled because they’re too busy laughing at the fool who is fooling them. This applies tenfold for those I have chosen to feature in my book. This is the bit I’m looking forward to most of all, as I show all these halfwits up for the shallow and insignificant idiots that they are.

Still, I can’t give away everything in this article, you’ll just going to have to buy a copy of the book for all the details on how and why I did this, and to see exactly how I have handled the people who left such stupidly pathetic comments. If anyone is interested, my book can be purchased from Amazon in digital, paperback and hardback formats. Over 320 pages of pointless non-stories and ‘journalists’ reviewed. Enjoy, I know that I will. As I, and others, continue to laugh at all of those imbeciles who did choose to make their pitiful comments.

For all those negative comments made towards Milo and me, what do you think of that ‘compo face’? I call it my ‘smug, shit-eating-grin of self-satisfaction after making hundreds and thousands of members of the public look really stupid for my book’ face. 10/10. Buy my book right here and have a good laugh.

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this: