(Mini) Game Review: You Suck At Parking™

Don’t you just love a game title that outright insults you? The thing is that, it’s most probably true too. I don’t drive, so I’m pretty sure that my parking skills are well below par and do indeed suck. Still, developer and publisher Happy Volcano’s new game You Suck at Parking™ (complete with a trademark symbol) may have a comically condescending title… but is it any fun to play? Well, I have put my meagre parking talents to the test to find out.

“Prepare to take part in the world’s most extreme parking experience in You Suck at Parking™, the only game where your driving skills aren’t as important as your parallel parking skills. Race against the clock to yank your handbrake in over 100 wild levels with ever-increasing difficulty.”

What you have here with You Suck at Parking™ is a puzzle/racing game where the racing is far less important than your skills at being able to stop your vehicle in a small area. Taking place in over 100 levels, split over multiple different areas and environments. Starting out fairly easy, the levels slowly increase in difficulty and go from basic roads with standard turns, to crazy levels full of traps, obstacles and hindrances that can and will make the simple job of parking much more tricker.

YOU SUCK AT PARKING SCREEN 3

The main aim of the game is to just drive your car from the start and park it at one of the numerous parking spots around the level. Once all of the spots have a vehicle parked in them, you advance to the next level. I know what you are thinking, just take it slow and easy to get to the parking spot. Nope, you can’t do that because you have a timer and fuel that continually ticks down. The very split second you stop, that is counted as parking, no matter where you are. If you stop outside of the designated and small parking spot, that’s a fail. So, you have to speed around the levels and try to stop on a dime and that takes some serious skill.

Timing and fast reactions are key here and as the levels increase in difficulty, that timing and those fast reactions are only going to be pushed further and further. The levels get more insane as you progress and you’ll soon have to deal with jumps, fans that blow your vehicle around, exploding mines, giant swinging hammers and so much more. Even the road itself can become problematic, especially when it goes vertical. You Suck at Parking™ is tricky-dicky and has a high frustration factor, but it also has that ‘one more try’ appeal.

YOU SUCK AT PARKING SCREEN 2

Not only do you get over 100 levels to test your patience and parking skills on. You Suck at Parking™ also gives you an 8-player mode for some multiplayer mayhem (which I didn’t try for this review but it looks crazy fun). There are multiple different vehicles to unlock and a plethora of customisation options so you can create your very own style and look.

YOU SUCK AT PARKING SCREEN 1

Out now (or in the next few hours) on Xbox and Steam with a £17 price tag. Or, you could play it on Game Pass instead. I really enjoyed this one. Yeah, it can get annoying and will push your nerves to breaking point. But when you get it, after failing a lot, playing and replaying the same level over and over until finally, you park… there is this immense feeling of satisfaction that washes over you. You Suck at Parking™ has a stupidly simple premise, wrapped up in gameplay mechanics that are as easy to grasp as they as hard to master. Get this one played, it’s awesomely frustrating and rewarding.

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